You should not be obligated to provide sources for an online argument. Most times, people ask for sources as a shitty way to derail the debate at hand.
My father passed away when I was a teenager. I earned a full scholarship to college for sports. My mother had a brain tumor so I had to drop out and lose the scholarship. Life sucks, then you die.
wait, really? lol
Yeah I do too. I feel like theres no point in anything I do. Like what am I looking forward to? I work a job I don’t enjoy just to get a paycheck just to look forward to the weekends. And on the weekends I sit at home and drink while staring at a wall because theres nothing else to do. I’m just getting older and older and I can’t imagine living like this until I’m old or until I enter my 30s even.
I always think life would be more bearable if I was in a relationship because in a way it would give me something to look forward to and force myself to improve for them.
Just 1: Happiness. That’s all I’ve ever wanted
I agree! Just be a decent human being to one another
I’m not proposing anything. I simply stated that people should treat others the way they would like to be treated. Everyone is different, but I have yet to hear that someone enjoys being ghosted or led on. I’m not shaming anyone and I’m pointing out the broad consequences that this has on society as a whole. I guess when you reject someone, reject them in a way that YOU would be okay with if the roles were reversed.
A) I never used the word forced in this write-up. No one should be forced to do anything.
B) I’m advocating for people to treat others the way they would like to be treated. If they wouldn’t like being ghosted or led on, then they shouldn’t be ghosting or leading on others.
I’m not saying at all that a person should be forced into a relationship, that would be disastrous. All I’m advocating for is to reject someone in a more straightforward manner rather than ghosting someone or stringing them along. The person being rejected should not be getting what they want.
The problem isn’t with rejection, thats completely fine. The problem lies with how people aren’t straight forward with it which causes many others to overthink the situation without closure. If the roles were reversed, they wouldn’t like it happening to them either.
Saying you’re not entitled to a relationship is a shitty mindset to have
You can’t fault OP for taking the rejection personally. Their feelings are valid and in relationships everythings going to be taken personally since feelings are the main objects at stake. If you genuinely fall for someone and continue to hope for the best for them until you find out they don’t hope for the best for you, you’d understandably be upset too if/when you’re rejected as well especially after being led on and used for emotional support.
Its one thing to notice the red flags, but its another to accept them and cut contact off sadly
Sad to see all the hate here. I think what this really boils down to is a lack of communication between both parties. Everyones quick to say that no one is entitled to any explanation or criticism which sure may be true, but what ever happened to human decency? What happened to treating others the same way you’d like to be treated? Would you enjoy constantly being treated as a second option? Would you enjoy someone giving you hope that feelings could change down the line when they know full well that they don’t plan on putting in the effort to try? In a time where infidelity, divorce, and the general breakdown of monogamous relationships is common, doesn’t that show that there is an overarching flaw in the way everyone communicates with one another and treats each other as disposable? It turns into a game where the person who cares the least wins which defeats the whole purpose of even attempting to develop a relationship with someone else. We’re quick to tell someone that they aren’t entitled to a relationship if they get ghosted or led on, but we’re never quick to address the lack of human decency in the act of ghosting or leading someone else on. Chances are, if the roles were reversed, they wouldn’t enjoy it happening to them either.
Very insightful comment thank you. I guess everyone does have that one “it” factor that triggers their depression more than others. Relationships are definitely one for me, I feel like I’m often holding onto a string that depends on my relationship so when its going well I’m doing great, but when its in a rough state, I’m in a very dark place.
Its weird because I like to take an objective look at things and I’m a bit pessimistic/realistic because of my ongoing depression. But with relationships everything rational goes out the door so its like I end up hating myself even more when it fails because I didn’t listen to reason and ignored the signs.
I definitely had teenage heartbreaks and I took it rough. But I never grew out of it I guess and every heartbreak feels just as bad for me still at 26. I wish I was one of those people who could turn things down a notch but I guess we’re all different. My specialty seems to be navigating intense trauma in life, but when it comes to relationships, I’m the same as I always have been and probably will always be.
Totally agree with and want to address the external factors like bullying and abuse as well. I definitely don’t want to come across here as downplaying them because they are just as serious.
That’s fair. I would consider myself emotionally unstable as well. But its kind of like a catch-22 in some regard. You crave affection and human interaction and hope it will heal your suffering even if it will put you further back when it fails in the long run. You place your partner on a pedestal that they could never fall off from. I do think that a good relationship could help a depressed person, but its a very difficult line to walk.
Do you guys think lack of or failed relationships cause depression in people the most?
The people who most strongly advocate against capitalism are the ones who have already profited so much off of it.
I showed her a picture on my phone...
She ended up going through my entire phone, messages and all. She got upset when she couldn’t find any “dirt” and then roasted my dating profile saying that she probably wouldn’t have swiped right if she saw me on it.
Apr 16 '21
Is there a point in trying after 30?
Thats a good point too! Oftentimes its like you’re crafting this story to provide evidence as to why its your passion to go into a certain type of career (ie health problems leading to wanting to work in the healthcare industry). Its never enough to just want to go into a certain industry simply because you enjoy it and find it interesting. There always has to be some underlying reason for your career choice.
Thats a good point, I never thought of that. I would hope that there could be some degree of fact checking but its also a very tall task to achieve
Apr 10 '21
Is it weird to anyone that you have to flaunt your traumas in apps?
Imagine being so concerned about 5-10% of a schools student body that you blame them for your inability to get in/get your dream job...
Like yeah bro these 50 minorities are really taking away from your opportunity to succeed in this class of 600.