r/unpopularopinion May 08 '21

Saying you’re not entitled to a relationship is a shitty mindset to have

When people get hurt from being ghosted or led on, I’ve noticed a lot of people use the phrase, “Well you’re not entitled to a relationship with that person so get over it.” While that may be true, whatever happened to the belief that one should “Treat others the way you would like to be treated?” Chances are that the person ghosting or leading another person along wouldn’t like it either if the roles were swapped. We’re quick to tell someone they’re not entitled to a relationship, but slow to acknowledge that leading a person along as well as ghosting lack human decency to one another.

We’re in a society where divorce, infidelity, and the general abandonment of monogamous relationships as a whole is high. Doesn’t this show that the way we communicate to one another is problematic and should be changed? People continue to dehumanize each other through their actions and validate them by saying no one is entitled to anything. The person who cares the least often “wins” because they end up not being hurt. If you’re haphazardly entering a relationship just to cut things off in such a dehumanizing way, whats the point of even attempting? Its causing a ripple effect that creates a more callous population who lack communication skills when conveying emotion because the person on the receiving end will make sure not to put their best foot forward in future relationship efforts again.

I genuinely believe that if you want to develop a lasting relationship, you should treat them with the same dignity that you would like to be treated with. Sure you may not be entitled to a relationship with anyone, but you should be entitled to decent human courtesy when pursuing one as well as when ending one.

Edit: This is for ghosting/leading people one. This isn’t saying that anyones entitled to sex. Its perfectly fine to end a relationship, just dont be shitty about it and think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot

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u/TurntPikachu May 08 '21

The problem isn’t with rejection, thats completely fine. The problem lies with how people aren’t straight forward with it which causes many others to overthink the situation without closure. If the roles were reversed, they wouldn’t like it happening to them either.

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u/trogdoooooooooooor May 08 '21

Yes, nobody is arguing about whether they would like it if the roles were reversed. I’m just saying, that if you got what you wanted, someone would have been forced to do something against their will. And I mean, generally speaking, that’s not cool.

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u/TurntPikachu May 08 '21

I’m not saying at all that a person should be forced into a relationship, that would be disastrous. All I’m advocating for is to reject someone in a more straightforward manner rather than ghosting someone or stringing them along. The person being rejected should not be getting what they want.

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u/trogdoooooooooooor May 08 '21

I wasn’t saying you were saying someone should be forced into a relationship. My understanding is that you want someone to be forced to explain themselves to you if they don’t want to talk to you anymore.

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u/TurntPikachu May 08 '21

A) I never used the word forced in this write-up. No one should be forced to do anything.

B) I’m advocating for people to treat others the way they would like to be treated. If they wouldn’t like being ghosted or led on, then they shouldn’t be ghosting or leading on others.

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u/trogdoooooooooooor May 08 '21

What action are you proposing? That we shame those who ghost and lead others on? What form of shaming would you want this to take?

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u/TurntPikachu May 08 '21

I’m not proposing anything. I simply stated that people should treat others the way they would like to be treated. Everyone is different, but I have yet to hear that someone enjoys being ghosted or led on. I’m not shaming anyone and I’m pointing out the broad consequences that this has on society as a whole. I guess when you reject someone, reject them in a way that YOU would be okay with if the roles were reversed.

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u/trogdoooooooooooor May 09 '21

“Should” is the operative word here. Saying people should do something implies you want to make that happen in some way. “It would be nice if” might be the phrase you’re looking for.