r/news May 04 '21

Cult leader found mummified, wrapped in Christmas lights in Colorado home; 7 charged Behind EU/GDPR paywall

https://www.ozarksfirst.com/local-news/cult-leader-found-mummified-wrapped-in-christmas-lights-in-colorado-home-7-arrested/
46k Upvotes

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635

u/Rion23 May 04 '21

I'm more of a mineral person myself, but my wife keeps calling them rocks and its straining our relationship.

200

u/jharger May 04 '21

Watch out for your brother-in-law. I think he’s up to something.

165

u/Atanar May 04 '21

Why, is he also a crystal guy?

133

u/DylanBob1991 May 04 '21

Actually, yes!

35

u/Spider_Dude May 04 '21

Saw him throw a pizza on a roof one day. I don't trust meth dealers that do that!

7

u/PickButtkins May 04 '21

Hey now, roof pizza is still pizza.

5

u/burtoncummings May 04 '21

This is why I love reddit. Don't ever change...

"My name is ASAC Schrader, and you can go fuck yourself!"

4

u/SnooPredictions3113 May 04 '21

"You're the smartest guy I ever met, and you're too stupid to see he made up his mind 10 minutes ago."

1

u/Juliska_ May 05 '21

Currently on S1e5 for the... 6th or 7th time? I'm planning a slow burn rewatch of BB then BCS in time for the final season of BCS :).

2

u/SpinDocktor May 04 '21

Some might say he's the best crystal guy in the Southwest. Very particular about blue ones though.

2

u/Dune17k May 04 '21

Well done

1

u/FMAB-EarthBender May 04 '21

This was an AMAZING reply , thank you. I love breaking bad references in the wild and I'm like, nice nice. And you throw out this. Great play back in the banter, solid 5/7 :)

67

u/LilSlumlord May 04 '21

I said they were neat rocks, Hank

15

u/Y0y0y000 May 04 '21

Jesus Christ, Marie!

6

u/RohypnolJunkie May 04 '21

My name is ASAC Schrader.

-6

u/thosearecoolbeans May 04 '21

Yep, that was the reference. Good job.

41

u/CasuallyZooted May 04 '21

She's being too hard on you. Tell her to kick rocks. You don't need that kind of pressure.

10

u/SirDeeznuts May 04 '21

Yeah she is clearly at fault here. You have to draw the lime somewhere.

2

u/SnooPredictions3113 May 04 '21

She needs to quit taking him for granite before the magmatude of the problem becomes too much to deal with. Those are my sediments, anyway.

1

u/teebob21 May 04 '21

Gneiss puns

5

u/Ghant_ May 04 '21

I crave that mineral on top of all my foods

4

u/Sevorus May 04 '21

Is your brother in law adding to the strain? Maybe by cooking meth in the desert with one of his high school chemistry students? Just a feeling I have. You might want to look into it.

3

u/peter_marxxx May 04 '21

They're minerals, Marie!

3

u/robmac550 May 04 '21

I'm into silica. My dog keeps calling it sand. I suppose i should be happy he can talk but I can't get past his lack of research.

2

u/M_i_L_0_ May 04 '21

Guess you can say youre marriage is fairly rocky

2

u/Maskatron May 04 '21

Heisenberg is Walt.

2

u/AnComStan May 04 '21

Call her a bitch and murder her brother, that might help.

1

u/3889-1274 May 04 '21

If it keeps up, just stone her to death

1

u/sarcasm_the_great May 04 '21

So you smoke crack

1

u/[deleted] May 04 '21

[deleted]

2

u/herculesmeowlligan May 04 '21

Of quartz someone had to make a geology pun

1

u/theLord666666 May 04 '21

Kid Rock enters the chat

1

u/alnothree May 04 '21

I’m more of an herbal person!

1

u/comin_up_shawt May 04 '21

I've got a rock collector and geologist friend (I make fine jewelry myself) with whom we occasionally sell at the local gem shows, and for some reason he always wears this faded t- shirt that he made that says "I'm the guy selling rock to your kids behind the raceway"...

1

u/tdmoney May 04 '21

Dammit Marie

1

u/scollaysquare May 04 '21

Rocky relationship?

1

u/fuckyeahballpythons May 04 '21

Relationship on the rocks, huh?

0

u/beanburritobandit May 04 '21

God dammit, Marie...