r/news May 04 '21

Cult leader found mummified, wrapped in Christmas lights in Colorado home; 7 charged Behind EU/GDPR paywall

https://www.ozarksfirst.com/local-news/cult-leader-found-mummified-wrapped-in-christmas-lights-in-colorado-home-7-arrested/
46k Upvotes

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803

u/arcelyte May 04 '21

Jesus...how fast do you think they spin?

711

u/SkunkMonkey May 04 '21

Wouldn't have to spin too fast once decomp takes over.

162

u/H00L0GXNS May 04 '21

I love maggots on my pizza

109

u/901191 May 04 '21

like smaller, cheaper, and more thematic anchovies

38

u/Miaoxin May 04 '21

They taste nothing like anchovies, though. :(

Need salt.

16

u/H00L0GXNS May 04 '21

Kinda chewy.

8

u/RodJohnsonSays May 04 '21

...you guys are the reason why I don't talk about reddit in public with people.

5

u/demlet May 04 '21

Can't blame Reddit for casu martzu.

2

u/H00L0GXNS May 05 '21

Had to look this up. What in the fuck

1

u/demlet May 05 '21

To be fair, maggots are probably super nutritious. But yeah, I would have to be dying, and maybe still not then...

4

u/randypriest May 04 '21

You have to keep going until they burst

3

u/MisterDukes May 04 '21

Same amount of protein though?

1

u/Stabfist_Frankenkill May 05 '21

100g of maggots is about .3 g of sodium while 100g of anchovy is ~3.6g of sodium - ten times as much! You definitely gotta salt those little bastards.

2

u/RoundBread May 04 '21

Complete with greasy kids playing at the arcade

1

u/901191 May 05 '21

Gotta have em. Ambiance in the dining environment is key

1

u/wise_comment May 04 '21

The fuck theme do you think the teacup ride has?

1

u/apunkgaming May 04 '21

Ugh I was watching the Pacific last night and one of the guys is in the chow line when he noticed a maggot in his rice. The cook looks at him and said "consider it meat".

1

u/beardingmesoftly May 04 '21

I call them "funchovies"

15

u/Sextron5000 May 04 '21

Healthy AND disgusting.

37

u/H00L0GXNS May 04 '21

Slimy, yet satisfying!

2

u/Jack_of_all_offs May 04 '21

Pumba! Not in front of the kids!

2

u/ApoliteTroll May 04 '21

Rather that than pineapple

2

u/Splickity-Lit May 04 '21

That’s what she said

1

u/Hey_its_thatoneguy May 04 '21

She may not like pineapple, but she like when I drink pineapple juice..

2

u/capnclutchpenetro May 04 '21

You mean Disco Rice?

1

u/DontDoDrugs316 May 04 '21

I’m just here for the protein

1

u/OdinsBeard May 04 '21

Fulci could make a mean pie

1

u/Splickity-Lit May 04 '21

Who doesn’t?

1

u/blarghed May 04 '21

Protein is protein

3

u/wolfspider82 May 04 '21

Oh dear god!

2

u/LeftHandedFapper May 04 '21

That stomach acid will make it extra gooey

1

u/charlie2135 May 04 '21

You've, you've thought it out. Haven't you?

1

u/Channel250 May 04 '21

It's Disney, I'd be more concerned with the recomp

210

u/boopbaboop May 04 '21

My partner once went on a teacup ride with his friend the professional rower and another friend. The rowing friend spun the teacup so hard that their other friend blacked out from the G-forces being generated.

30

u/talex95 May 04 '21

I sprained my thumb trying to spin it really fast. I found out some of them have a speed governor

6

u/SkullsNRoses00 May 04 '21

I assumed they did. I'm actually really surprised to hear these stories.

1

u/JcbAzPx May 04 '21

They're quite possibly related.

81

u/robsprofileonreddit May 04 '21

Lmao yes fucking this, me and my brother went on the tea cups with his son my nephew, and we spun it a little too fast for the lil man

17

u/SiberianToaster May 04 '21

It was always apples at the fair for me. My dad and I would spin them so fast we had to have the ride stopped for de-puking

7

u/taosaur May 04 '21

It was always apples at the fair for me.

Is this the opening line of your coming-of-age novel?

1

u/robsprofileonreddit May 05 '21

“De-puking” hahaha

14

u/jimmiidean May 04 '21

I’m going to need Bill Nye to myth buster this one for me

24

u/AtreusFamilyRecipe May 04 '21

I mean it doesn't take much for some people. I occasionally greyout/tunnelvision just from standing up too quickly.

2

u/DaytonTom May 04 '21

You have blood pressure issues, most likely. My guess would be too low, but it could also be too high. Have you been to the doctor recently?

2

u/TheR1ckster May 04 '21

It's not too uncommon, but yeah get checked out.

1

u/AtreusFamilyRecipe May 04 '21

It's a combination of low HR and height. Doc says not to worry about it unless other cardiac issues arise.

2

u/TheR1ckster May 04 '21

Also mixed with dehydration and it's a perfect storm at amusement parks.

A lot of people momentarily Grey or pass out on rides even just as a fear response.

-3

u/Channel250 May 04 '21

Uhhh...how you doing buddy? Do you smell toast?

2

u/lawerorder May 04 '21

I’m going to need Bill Nighy to act it out.

-2

u/Hurricane12112 May 04 '21

You do know Bill Nye is an actor right? That’s like asking Jessie Eisenburg to mythbust it for you because he played Lex Luther in the movies

2

u/jimmiidean May 04 '21

I’m going to need you to take that back. I’ve built my life around him being a legit scientist

0

u/Hurricane12112 May 04 '21

Don’t know why I’m getting downvoted for something that’s very easy to prove. Just look it up. Dudes an actor my friend. He has degrees that were gifted to him because he helped spark scientific curiosity in kids but it’s all for show

3

u/Tana1234 May 04 '21

Tea cups is ligit the worst ride I've ever been on at a theme park a couple of beers 6 adults all spinning the middle faster.......never again

1

u/GeorgiaOKeefinItReal May 04 '21

This really sounds like something i would really want to see at a distance somewhere upwind.

1

u/Edelweiss123 May 04 '21

Never blacked out from the teacups, but my brother-in-law and I had numb hands for an hour after we exchanged an epic ~40mph high-five from passing cars on the scrambler

1

u/Impression_Ok May 04 '21

Had a similar thing happen with my friends when we were 13. My friend got so sick he actually turned a pale shade of green. I thought that was a thing that only happened in cartoons.

33

u/901191 May 04 '21

I assume there’s a throttle, you could get someone to just dial that bad boy up progressively to keep time with the music

16

u/Flutters1013 May 04 '21

you control the spin, so bring one of your strongest friends.

5

u/corkyskog May 04 '21

I don't think that's entirely true anymore, sure you are the one providing force to make it rotate, but there are governors in the form of brakes that can be employed and are also passively engaged during the ride. I knew someone who did maintenance at an amusement park, I think they used to freely spin, but now they don't... because reasons.

Entirely anecdotal, but I have no reason why he would make that up.

8

u/Flutters1013 May 04 '21

They were probably tired of parents or teenagers getting in those things and making kids sick.

6

u/corkyskog May 04 '21

In my dark mind I was imagining a toddler or baby flying out of one... but your theory is probably correct.

1

u/Channel250 May 04 '21

I make shit up all the time. Especially when I have a job that many people don't have experience with.

1

u/Gbcue May 04 '21

Oh there's definitely a brake and the turntable is impossible to spin. At the end of the ride, they all stop so they must all have some kind of governor.

53

u/ActionAccountability May 04 '21

I've always thought the tea cups had more in the tank and they were holding back on me!

11

u/Vio_ May 04 '21

1

u/Channel250 May 04 '21

What did you think the things in Beasts Castle did when the lights went out?

2

u/Odd-Acanthisitta-546 May 04 '21

tcups are UNDOUBTEDLY the best ride at any amusement park

1

u/ActionAccountability May 04 '21

Yeah to get me sick! A classic for sure though. I haven't been on any in more than a decade, I'm curious how I would hold up.

1

u/Odd-Acanthisitta-546 May 04 '21

i spin it like a madman til my arms cramp lol

14

u/CodingLazily May 04 '21

I almost guarantee that this "throttle" is an array of dip switches in an electrical box somewhere.

17

u/901191 May 04 '21

I do not understand how/what that works/is, but I am going to choose to stand by my statement regardless of whether it is grounded in reality or not.

4

u/durktrain May 04 '21

a noble stance and i salute you

2

u/LordTurner May 04 '21

Theres not, as far as I know, just an off and on button for standard operations. I imagine if you cracked open the panel it's all adjustable however.

Swinging ship though, that thing you can manipulate the speed of, by pressing the start button as it's swinging, giving the driving wheel an extra boost.

Obviously only talking from my own experiences here, presumably they all vary.

1

u/FoboBoggins May 04 '21

no most rides are just a start button and an emergency stop, lots are run on timers and have preset speeds, old school ferris wheels though i know are clutch operated and witht that you could some what control speed but even then its really just on and off

8

u/aaronisawesome May 04 '21

I believe he’s referring to the teacups at Disneyland. Which I think is the most known teacups ride. It’s the only one I know of. And in fact you do control the speed on that ride. There’s a wheel in the center that you spin with your hands and it makes the teacup spin

4

u/FoboBoggins May 04 '21

i know the tea cups, but he was talking operator end not rider side

Edit: i was once a carni...

7

u/_jukmifgguggh May 04 '21

Is this the ultimate deciding factor? I'm hoping fast enough for the pieces of the rotting corpse to scatter

1

u/WWDubz May 04 '21

About tree fiddy

1

u/alexcrouse May 04 '21

As fast as you tell them to.

1

u/TheDanAplan May 04 '21

This is no time for caution.

1

u/traimera May 04 '21

Fuck the disney teacups. You need those county fair strawberries. We would spin those things so fucking fast you could lay out flat against the wall. Disney is too safe. Get those rides set up by a meth head who travels the country with about zero fucks to give about you or your safety. That's the people who would let a corpse on the ride. Those are the people you need.

1

u/Oppressions May 04 '21

Just depends how strong you are

1

u/TheRealGrizeg May 04 '21

Oh fuck that's hilarious.

1

u/arthurdentstowels May 04 '21

I bruised my ribs and bruised some more on these. Couldn’t sneeze for weeks

1

u/meinblown May 04 '21

It's up to you how fast you spin them!

1

u/EntrepreneurPatient6 May 04 '21

As fast as those lathes in chinese factories…

1

u/Barondonvito May 04 '21

As fast as your dreams can take you

1

u/AsparagusFlex May 04 '21

I think they spin right 'round, baby. Right 'round like a record, baby. Right 'round, 'round, 'round.

1

u/WhirlyTwirlyMustache May 04 '21

You can get them going really fast. There's a wheel in the center that you can turn to make it go faster.

1

u/OriginalAndOnly May 04 '21

Effing fast if the operator wants it to. I might have died in one