r/dogecoin May 17 '21

It puts the lotion on its skin

Post image
8k Upvotes

191

u/abandonedgenius May 17 '21

If i wake up with 2m, IM BUYING THE DIP!!! TO THE MOOOOOOON

75

u/sereenaok May 17 '21

I bought the dip. The dip got dippier and dippier :/

40

u/abandonedgenius May 17 '21

Happens to everyone. Don't worry. We'll carry you through

38

u/RaisinFunny May 17 '21

You dip I dip we dip..

24

u/Hyposanity May 17 '21

You must pace yourself young padawan.

12

u/Soapdropper May 17 '21

I love a good 7 layer dip.

16

u/charleswasntanoption May 17 '21

You say it once then it repeats buying the dip slower and deeper 2x: “I’m Buying the Dip!” 👨🏾‍🚀🚀

7

u/abandonedgenius May 17 '21

Sounds like a banger. Need to whip up a "BUY THE DIP" song. Go viral.

7

u/charleswasntanoption May 17 '21

Definitely put it on a shirt! 😂

8

u/Gabicolon May 17 '21

That will turn into 50 billion

6

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

[removed]

136

u/Bob_the_brewer May 17 '21

Honestly id break it to into 250k chunks in their own accounts with the interest depositing into another account that I would use for month to month expenses including doge purchases

62

u/Shandriel May 17 '21

0.1% interest at my bank (yearly!) doesn't get me far...

45

u/Bob_the_brewer May 17 '21

Dump the bank for a credit union or a bank that doesn't screw its customers (if one exists)

27

u/bebebaua May 17 '21

You are so right. I used to have Bank of America and geez did they rip me off at every step. Fees for this and fees for that. They told me that with a balance of at least $25,000 my checking account would be free. Had a mortgage with them and a checking account I didn’t use except to pay for the mortgage and it was definitely not free. A couple of times it went into overdraft because of the fee and they took $100 cash advance out of my BofA credit card, they kept the $25 fee and deposited $75 into my checking. Cash advance interest on the credit card was super high and that always gets paid last and not before the purchases balance on the credit card. Called them to complain about that, on the phone for three hours, they fixed it and the following month they did the exact same thing. Needless to say I kicked them to the curb and went to a credit union and for the past 9 years I have not had one single issue with them. They even reimburse all the atm fees at the end of the month. Credit unions are so much better.

3

u/lamartyr May 17 '21

Just adding here. Not sure if you have one near you but All In Credit Union ( formerly Army Aviation Federal Credit Union) is pretty good and they've opened up to the general public now.

1

u/bebebaua May 17 '21

I’m pretty happy with the one I have now here in the Northeast US... it’s called Metro Credit Union.

2

u/lamartyr May 17 '21

Awesome. Just a suggestion.

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15

u/RogerDodger4561 May 17 '21

USAA and Navy Federal. The only banks and credit unions I trust.

1

u/Sunshine4Whiskey May 17 '21

Eglin Federa Credit Union

2

u/VitalDogeCoin May 17 '21

Put it in the stock market, not a bank or credit union.

3

u/Traditional-Flow1068 May 17 '21

Literally putting mine into my dividend paying stocks

1

u/Blackcameleopard May 17 '21

Credit unions always try that scheme to get lots of lower income people. They play the numbers but then can’t offer the perks an international bank would. It’s all about how you intend to use it.

4

u/Bob_the_brewer May 17 '21

Let's trust the banks that caused the economy to crash, great idea, I don't buy it, I won't ever use a bank, credit unions are the only places I trust, my grandpa who was an oil company exec always told me they were better and that was before the crash.

0

u/Blackcameleopard May 17 '21

Please feel free to explain it or are you trying to generalize an extremely complex situation with vilification? You know how America uses scapegoatism to hide any fault? Covid is China, 911 is Arabs, Mexicans for the economy I could easily go on. Just because you read the cliff notes doesn’t mean you get the why. That’s like the franz ferdinand being the only reason for the whole world war. Parts don’t make the whole, they’re just parts.

1

u/bebebaua May 17 '21

What the heck are you talking about. COVID came from China. 911 was done by people from the Middle East, not Canadians if you will, and definitely not by people from the Bahamas ... you are crazy.

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-1

u/Bob_the_brewer May 17 '21

You confuse Americans with right wing terrorists

4

u/foreignccc May 17 '21

i don't think any of that stuff, but come on. opposing beliefs isn't "terrorism".

1

u/riocooldude May 17 '21

Actually it was the guy who shot Franz Ferdinand nationality that caused the war. If he had been from say Germany, no world war. If he was English, no world war....but since he was Serbian, well, time for global freaking war.

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2

u/AngryPupperino May 17 '21

Covert to ALGO send to your wallet and get a cozy 8% APY that's what I do with my gains.

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9

u/myselfindianboy May 17 '21

You can just stake crypto too it's kind of a good way for passive income.

3

u/Throwiest1 May 17 '21

Wrong, put it all of it (minus emergency fund and 1month pay) into high yield dividend ETFs

1

u/miniature-rugby-ball May 17 '21

Your banks pay interest?

2

u/Bob_the_brewer May 17 '21

Credit union

1

u/LocoGuap0 May 17 '21

Are you a fan of the FDIC?

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28

u/want-to-say-this May 17 '21

Withdrawal ASAP. Cash can’t be revoked.

6

u/Stack_Johnson wise shibe May 17 '21

Start chipping away at it $500/day at the ATM 😂

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84

u/FBI_Agent_82 sombrero shibe May 17 '21

I'm masturbating, need that post nut clarity before I do something stupid.

6

u/tbeusst May 17 '21

Same bro, let's just all keep it efficient with a classic circle jerk!

37

u/MrAbominable1 May 17 '21 edited May 17 '21

Honest answer, tell no one but my wife and get on the phone with a well reviewed financial adviser. Try to plan it out that we can live off interest, get a home and reliable cars. From there help our parents out and perhaps some family.

Now if its more than that though, I would 100% help my fellow man. I would love to donate to charitable causes, and support a community, make it better.

23

u/asimplepencil May 17 '21

Same but I'm not married so I wouldn't tell ANYONE

22

u/miniature-rugby-ball May 17 '21

I’m married, so I wouldn’t tell anyone!

2

u/Goldmanite79 May 17 '21

I’d do exactly the same

3

u/VitalDogeCoin May 17 '21

You'd need a LOT more than two million.

6

u/Nottobebothered02 May 17 '21

Exactly. 2m can go quick. First pay taxes on it. I’d put the rest in a dividend portfolio. Safe investment, and use the income from that to buy crypto. It’s not quit your job money. Unless you know what you’re doing.

5

u/TheStokedExplorer May 17 '21

It's totally dependable on the lifestyle you choose. I'd bet most couldn't handle the influx and blow through it almost as fast as it was deposited into their accounts. But you could easily buy cheap land 3-5k somewhere and build reasonable cabin and get it all hooked with solar. Satellite whatever you'd ever want and easily have plenty to be in super peaceful place to relax and keep ya at ease in the Rollercoaster of investing. But be smart and yeah you're set for life. Be an idiot insta tly flashing it and won't last long. A lot of lottery winners don't stay rich

1

u/powerchoice May 17 '21

After taxes, you'd be left with ~$1.3 million. If you don't think that's enough to quit your job then I don't know what to tell you. $1.3 million is enough to quit. Move to a country like Thailand where you can live a nice life for a fraction of the cost in the US. And maybe work part time teaching English or something.

3

u/Nottobebothered02 May 17 '21

I’m saying you can if you know what you’re doing. I have a plan and would be able to quit my job. I’m not sure about the next person. People go broke all the time.

2

u/Traditional-Flow1068 May 17 '21

Exactly 1.3 mil can get you 60k+ in dividend income if you invest in the right stocks

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1

u/VitalDogeCoin May 17 '21

Yes, if you do want to live off of 2 million, you can't do the other things on MrAbominable's list, such as buying houses and cars for several family members. The two million would have to be the invesement money that did the work that -- if lucky/skilled/blessed with a good economy - could possibly begin to provide the basis for houses, cars, and the replacement of job income.

2

u/Primerebirth May 17 '21 edited May 17 '21

You can still do all that even with 1m if you play it smart. Get dividend stocks to gain monthly income, buy property. All after paying taxes.

1

u/cajunFAITH May 17 '21

I think $2M is plenty enough for that.

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2

u/Primerebirth May 17 '21

I wouldn’t even worry about the cars. One reliable car is enough. Especially since buying a car has no value. Buy a home and buy dividends stocks that will give you monthly income where you won’t even have to touch the rest of the money you have left.

1

u/krongdong69 May 17 '21

owning property is so overrated

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7

u/Natural_Region722 May 17 '21

Paying taxes? Lol

8

u/thatsandybeach May 17 '21

First, i get my jaw wired shut so I can’t accidentally tell anyone about the money. Second, pay off any outstanding debt. Third, take care of those who have helped me when I’ve needed it. Lastly, purchase a small modest home down in Florida on the Gulf and enjoy my life.

8

u/Omg4RealzTho May 17 '21

Have a good night's sleep with nothing weighing me down

4

u/Encantaria May 17 '21

absolutely

3

u/Thrall99 May 17 '21

Well said friend you

5

u/Decarz May 17 '21

DogeCoin is Creating Generational Wealth Across All Demographics Of Society Around the World $$$ HODL $$$

19

u/Sunshine4Whiskey May 17 '21

First, I need to sit down and catch reality and soak it all in. Then, I'm paying off all my debt. Then give some to the kids. And before all that happens, I'm gonna sit down and Thank God.

4

u/bebebaua May 17 '21

You can pay yourself $2000 every week for the next 20 years.

2

u/Lambawamba May 17 '21

Stop it. You gonna make me go get more. Oh who am I kidding, I already grabbed an extra 500 doge this morning. ;)

1

u/bebebaua May 17 '21

Nice !!!! I grabbed another 100 today bringing my total to 12,000 will continue buying until I reach 20,000 and more. My average is at .18 right now which is not too bad. I started at .04 but did not buy enough back then stupid me.

12

u/EpsteinsGhost556 May 17 '21

What's 2million when milk costs 1 million with inflation?

3

u/Dizzy_Fisherman_9604 May 17 '21

Hahahahhaa made my day

3

u/Ronpm111 May 17 '21

Wait for the next dip and buy more Dogecoin.

3

u/rhunter99 May 17 '21
  1. get a will made
  2. pay off outstanding LOC
  3. max out the US equivalent of a Roth IRA
  4. buy a home
  5. take 80% of the remainder and invest in broadmarket index ETFs
  6. use the remaining 20% to buy a used car and go on vacations
  7. buy $200 worth of doge just for the fun of it

2

u/VitalDogeCoin May 17 '21

Good answer!

3

u/Nightshade-1144 May 17 '21

I'd cry. No more debt, I could have all of the surgeries I need, I wouldn't have to worry about being homeless. I could eat actual food instead of dollar soups and boxed pasta. I'd take the few friends that stuck with me to travel, pay off their cars or debts too. I could go back to school and finish my degree.

I don't have much but- to the moon!

3

u/JohnStaintMcgoodbody May 17 '21

I was thinking more like call my boss and tell em to never expect to see me ever again

8

u/jrtt4877 May 17 '21

I would just admire it and appreciate it, but wont touch it cause it will probably be a banking error and they will charge it back when they find out

2

u/MP4-2chassis1 May 17 '21

Then buy back at dips? New at this.

2

u/Paul297 May 17 '21

all in in doge vet ada and I buy me a car

2

u/RobinEJo May 17 '21

I would be able to increase my donations to "Save The Chimps". I love them and I give now even though I am not wealthy. They take care of chimpanzees that have been retired from scientific research. Some of their chimps have lived horrid lifes. Now they live in central Florida havin' a blast. It's heartwarming.

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2

u/Mind_Several May 17 '21

I’m taking all my doge and heading to Mars on a space x rocket 🚀🐕

2

u/bebebaua May 17 '21

I don’t know ... call the Mob... you know, the IRS.

2

u/justakiwig May 17 '21

Gee I’d have to sit under Niagara Falls for that to wash off 😂😂

2

u/summerofkorn hulk shibe May 17 '21

That's a great quote. I felt that.

2

u/bebebaua May 17 '21

Hahaha people here don’t know what to do with $2,000,000 dollars.

3

u/Lucky88333 May 17 '21

Crypto and real estate.

2

u/VitalDogeCoin May 17 '21

They think it's 2 billion.

2

u/bebebaua May 17 '21

For real... $2 mil will go so fast.

2

u/HerbertGoon May 17 '21

Wrong. Hodl

2

u/dreamgt May 17 '21

Make sure I don't have to pay taxes on it first!

2

u/Encantaria May 17 '21

Just take a hugeeee deep breath and live in the present. The past struggles suit me no longer.

2

u/Socialympus May 17 '21

He's a real one, I respect that.

2

u/CapitalAssociation52 May 17 '21

Best shower of your life

2

u/papa_AL_ May 17 '21

I would single handedly bring doge up to $1

2

u/AdHealthy5279 May 17 '21

I would buy dogecoin

2

u/RaisinFunny May 17 '21

2 Mill hit my account. 1.3 after taxes.

My wife and I INSTANTLY invest on a nice 3 to 4 unit rental property.. Save some, invest into Dividends and Crypto.. Still build stone walls.. Smoke great grass and eat good. Im a happy collector. 🤘

2

u/ballon_knots May 17 '21

First I’d go to Greece to scatter my moms ashes since we were supposed to go there when she got better (she didn’t).

Then I’d set my son up with money for college and a house.

The rest? A farmhouse, goats, and a low stress enjoyable job.

2

u/LBOWER43 May 17 '21

2m hits my account and Uncle Sam will be at my door in 15 min for his 80% cut

2

u/RedLilAnime May 18 '21

I wanna go back to my parents home town and Guatemala and spread the wealth like my mom has been doing for years with what little we have.

2

u/HiddenBlindspot May 18 '21

I know what i am writing will sound greedy to some and others may not agree with how I'd handle my gains, but the gains would have to be ~$6.75m and first thing I'd do is get with a CPA and prepay the taxes I'd owe. I don't want to have to deal with that headache, so it has to be done first.

second thing I'd do is invest in AMT-free Muni bond ETFs like VTEB. there is a better option for Munis, but I already invest in it and used it for this little hypothetical. so i could buy about 98.2k shares @ $55/share. it pays out around $0.93/share annually. that would net me ~$91.3k tax free. the only thing I haven't figured out is if my brokerage offers a tax free money market account that could be used for the settlement account. if there is, I'd get it and set it up as the settlement account. hopefully it would have check writing features and a debit card issued for it.

finally, I'd quit my job, but I'd wait a month or two for interest to build up in the settlement account and to make sure health insurance coverage was active. once those pieces were in place, I'm out.

this is the pie-in-the-sky dream I want where I never have to worry about money for the rest of my life. one question I ask myself is how long would it take before I lost my mind from boredom and what would I do next? i haven't been able to answer those questions.

2

u/SpongeBW May 18 '21

DON’T HURT PRECIOUS!

4

u/Mizzen_Twixietrap Ð 🚀🌙 May 17 '21

If I woke up to $2mil. My plan would be to.

Buy a house to my mom for 250.000 here you can have a great house for that amount.

Put one mil into either a staking account or a crypto savings account.

The rest 750.000 into small house complex for students to live in.

Then depending on my profits from the saving. Id try to expand my business.

3

u/ThunderPigGaming May 17 '21

Find a cryptocoin that is moving up and buy all that I can, then when they come for the $2 million (and they will), I can transfer $2 million worth back into my account for them to take back and keep the profit.

2

u/yyrk00n May 17 '21

Call the Bank and report the accident. They will eventually notice and you will be acused of theft and sentenced to years in jail.

1

u/Rappareenola May 17 '21

Thanks for using Cross Post!!!!!!!

1

u/kombucha__papi May 17 '21

Lmmaaaaaoooo!!!

1

u/Mental_Medium3988 May 17 '21

Id buy a house as scruffy as I could look.

1

u/ColeB1984 May 17 '21

But in a new shower or the old poor shower?!

1

u/Independent_Dust_619 May 17 '21

All of it on HBAR! Knowing that the investment is safe on a crypto with fundamentals

1

u/NeoLothbrok9 May 17 '21

Start moving as much of it as possible out that account. If that much money just up and hit my account its most likely somthing gone wrong on the banks end, and after I cash out ima claim stolen identity lol

1

u/NorthNectarine5889 May 17 '21

Or else it gets the hose again.

It does what it is told, it puts the lotion in the basket.

1

u/JustinMS3 May 17 '21

Put it all in doge and soar past the moon... this is the way

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

Honestly, I'd put 1/2 of it into pysical silver or PSLV. Use the rest to get family affairs in order (house, cars, etc.) The silver will retain it's value, or even go up like we're starting to see today. And, of course, put several thousand into Doge.

1

u/luckyDoge88 shibe May 17 '21

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

1

u/riocooldude May 17 '21

I'd run to the ATM and withdraw my limit, transfer as much as possible to another account, buy crypto's and do anything possible before the bank finds out the screwed up.

1

u/tylerfc33 May 17 '21

Pay off my student loans.

1

u/RemoteNo2114 May 17 '21

Easy, I'd buy 4 million Doge

1

u/r_o_b_e_r_t_o Ð 🚀🌙 May 17 '21

the only good answer here is to invest in real estate

1

u/VitalDogeCoin May 17 '21

I love real estate.

1

u/personaanongrata May 17 '21

I swear my skin is better

1

u/Timely_Froyo1384 May 17 '21

Move it to my Retirement funds, move to my desired location, buy a small house. More then likely give my current house to my children.

1

u/Ardanger26 May 17 '21

Damn, right in the feels

1

u/RichyMcRichface May 17 '21

Probably put half of it into long term investing. Another 500k for day trading maybe using a portfolio manager, the final 500k for maybe a condo or house.

1

u/JesseBeats88 May 17 '21

Put it all on black

1

u/blindato1 May 17 '21

My next move is payoff all my debt and invest 90% of what remains. Use the 10% for funsies.

1

u/Skadoosh888 May 17 '21

Strippers and cocaine

1

u/Jdogma May 17 '21

Pay of mine and my parents loans and buy a house with property close to where I work.

Probably still have around $1M left for investing.

Continue to work my current job, just a lot happier.

1

u/therockstarbarber May 17 '21

Be mad to pay that captl gain tax

1

u/NavyTopGun87 May 17 '21

Im verifying it’s a legit source..bank ain’t coming after me lol

1

u/rene_333 May 17 '21

That's sounds like a perfect plan!

1

u/Spiritual-Gur5510 May 17 '21

I would do more investing and upgrade my current situation a bit. Keep making money baby!

1

u/Wallabyofwallstreet May 17 '21

Buy a 20k car, and a property.

1

u/Code_52 May 17 '21

Sounds like Milkman from Song of Solomon, but instead of washing away poverty, he washed away what society pushed on him

1

u/paradecium May 17 '21

Spend 1.5 mil on Doge, buy land, build a warehouse and as many mining rigs as I can and start Dogemining.

1

u/Lucky88333 May 17 '21

Make sure it's mine. Lol.

1

u/ElectricalJicama2937 May 17 '21

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/leejoness May 17 '21

Pay off my house, by a Tesla and invest the rest.

1

u/LoadedBakedSpud May 17 '21

Contact a financial advisor

1

u/C4n4d14n_Dr34m May 17 '21

“For the last time” yeah right. It’s 2 million not 2 billion.

1

u/dblbarreledpopstar conspirdoge May 17 '21

Jack off. Ive never had that much money before and I'm gonna need the post but clarity to plan some moves.

1

u/LMT323 May 17 '21

Move far away before all the new friends start rolling in... I'll make sure to take care of those that were with me beforehand, but only after the move

1

u/Foreign_Return_6324 May 17 '21

Change my pants

1

u/TheExodite May 17 '21

I'd delete all my social media accounts, smash my cellphone and leave my house. #Disappearing...

1

u/Latter_Row5218 May 17 '21

First thing im doing is taking every dime off my card

1

u/Friendly-Profit-7546 May 17 '21

Doesn’t say in what year, so can’t account for inflation and future tax rates. Could be saying “thanks for my biweekly paycheck, boss.”

1

u/Fritzo2162 May 17 '21

Buy 2mil worth of Bitcoin.

Come back next day, see it valued at $1.2 million.

1

u/melfredolf May 17 '21

He has a shower!

1

u/FroPatrol May 17 '21

Or it gets the coin water again!

1

u/jaffa_kree00 May 17 '21

Payoff debt. Invest the rest.

1

u/GoldBow3 May 17 '21

Go all in on VIAC

1

u/Eddieo7777 May 17 '21

Buy the dip bigger than before!

1

u/SophiBird May 17 '21

Sit and consider for a while where to invest and where to spend it that would help the most people.

1

u/PRoGn0SisNeGaTVe May 17 '21

i would go onto an interest baring crypto account where a sable coin offered 10% interest and deposit 1.5 mil and collect 12k a month in interest

1

u/jessecarvalho89 May 17 '21

I take it out and move it to a different bank before someone realizes they screwed up.

Get real. I aint that lucky lol

1

u/DirtKloud May 17 '21

Oh I can’t wait for the day.

1

u/Preachermanmee May 17 '21

But it’s not money that ends poverty. Many of you won’t understand that.

1

u/Snout_Fever May 17 '21

I'll go for "Wonder where the hell it came from and contact the bank to get it sent back there before the temptation to withdraw, flee the country and change my name takes over" personally.

1

u/Source_8 May 17 '21

Sounds about right😂🙏