r/Unexpected May 04 '21

Bad idea.

132k Upvotes

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261

u/VanishingStylist May 04 '21

This. Never be taken to a second location. Anything will be better than that

156

u/A_Canadian_appears May 04 '21

What if it's my dad picking me up from school to take me to Dave & Buster's?

250

u/OVerwhelmingAndDrunk May 04 '21

Never. Fight like hell and stay at school.

88

u/Knight_Blazer May 04 '21

Since you're being picked up from school you will most likely have a pen or pencil on you, use that to stab your dad in the penis.

64

u/A_Canadian_appears May 04 '21

And then call him a pencil dick as he's being loaded into an ambulance.

Assert dominance.

7

u/StrykerDK May 04 '21

Walk real slow, T-posing, in front of ambulance all the way to the ER. Backwards making eye contact with the driver.

3

u/A_Canadian_appears May 04 '21

Nuts in or out of the pants?

2

u/StrykerDK May 04 '21

Surprise me, like your french girls.

1

u/A_Furious_Mind May 04 '21

Ah, yeah. Reminds me of prom.

1

u/MR___SLAVE May 04 '21

This is the way.

2

u/TheDroidNextDoor May 04 '21

This Is The Way Leaderboard

1. u/Flat-Yogurtcloset293 475775 times.

2. u/max-the-dogo 8476 times.

3. u/ekorbmai 5566 times.

..

11335. u/MR___SLAVE 4 times.


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1

u/ifukblackchicks May 05 '21

"that'll put some lead in your pencil" 🕶️

1

u/reptacular May 05 '21

You know what is? The pen is.

2

u/Gibborim May 04 '21

With a fucking pencil.

1

u/el_duderino88 May 04 '21

Jesus, Pen15 club initiations are getting more and more grotesque

1

u/johnnybiggles May 04 '21

But what if I still want a little brother?

2

u/A_Canadian_appears May 04 '21

I'm sorry bud but you're gonna have to fuck your mom in that case.

10

u/Upstairs_Feature_570 May 04 '21

And drink your milk

2

u/RainbowFujoshi May 04 '21

And milk your drink

8

u/40oztofreedomtoday May 04 '21

Okay 3rd location.

1

u/Hickelodeon May 05 '21

that's just a second second location

1

u/40oztofreedomtoday May 05 '21

Fucking hell its impossible to be smart

61

u/Mr_Industrial May 04 '21

What if the dates going well and she wants to take me back to her place?

58

u/GreenCompetitive May 04 '21

Never.

3

u/CodingEagle02 May 05 '21

RESIST THE TEMPTRESS

22

u/KingOfTheYetis May 04 '21

What happens next depends on if you ride in the passenger seat or the trunk.

17

u/ahh_lawd May 04 '21

Come on now. Let’s use realistic examples.

6

u/NbleSavage May 04 '21

Never. Fight like hell and stay in your parent's basement.

3

u/HopefulAd1202 May 04 '21

Lol quit joshing around. We don’t date girls here.

3

u/taronic May 04 '21

Learn from Saint Aquinas

Chase her away with a firebrand while screaming "BEGONE THOT", then scrawl a cross on the wall, and be visited by angels that will gift you a sacred girdle to protect your virginity which you wear for the rest of your life

No joke, read under Biography

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Aquinas

ALWAYS be prepared to protect your virginity

3

u/SIacktivist May 04 '21

Then you have the upper hand. She won't be expecting it when you shoot her several times in the torso. Ain't nobody getting you to any secondary location.

2

u/TheAdamant0 May 04 '21

If her knife is bigger than yours, jump through the 2nd story window and get the hell out of there.

1

u/Thatsnicemyman May 05 '21

Ah, yeah, totally agree. if her “knife” is bigger than your “knife” you gotta escape that bedroom fast.

1

u/bobbycatfisher May 04 '21

Use anything in the vicinity to defend yourself

1

u/lakk May 04 '21

When I was in the Army my friend (black dude) was telling me about how a girl he met invited him to some shindig in the woods. Everything turned out okay, but it was funny hearing him recount how going deep into the woods in KKK country Missouri was one of the "sketchiest things he's done for pussy."

1

u/AntoneAlpha May 05 '21

That's how you lose your virginity and you don't want that

2

u/-littlefang- May 04 '21

Street smarts!

1

u/Zeyn1 May 04 '21

"Never go with a hippie to a second location"

-- Jack Donaghy

1

u/randomname32169 May 05 '21

What if I’ve broken both my arms and my mom wants to take me somewhere?