r/Unexpected 13d ago

Bad idea.

130k Upvotes

u/unexBot 13d ago

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

He goes to heaven during the robbery.


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

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u/AntelopeBackflip 13d ago

That nerf gun is no joke

1k

u/UnwashedApple 13d ago

Put somebody's eye out...

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u/BrandTheBuilderMusic 13d ago

A friend of mine once had a nerf gun with thumbtacks inserted in to the end of the darts as a “home defense weapon”

364

u/n0x630 13d ago edited 13d ago

I like to eat Doritos sometimes. You can throw the bag in an emergency, the assailant will instinctively begin eating them giving you time to escape

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u/oxfordcollar 13d ago

Pringles make more sense. Once they've popped they won't be able to stop, giving the police ample time to get there and arrest them

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u/Oraxy51 13d ago

If he used it to protect his friends it would be a homie defense weapon

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u/shuffling-through 13d ago

My dad likes to tell a story about needing to sleep with a couple of bricks on either side of his head while the cuffs of his pajama sleeves were safety-pinned to his pajama pants, for a duration of some weeks, while his eye healed from taking a nerf dart.

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u/pixeltater 13d ago

We all went through something getting to the end of that sentence

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u/Iwishiknew2 13d ago

I get the pins so he wouldn't rub his eye. are the bricks so he wouldn't roll? I'm imagining their was a softer choice

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u/YouAndSunset 13d ago

Yeah, there are a ton of different options to all of the things OP said lmao

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u/Shabozz 13d ago

You aren't a dad if you don't go out of your way to inconvenience yourself so you can complain to your family about how inconvenienced you were.

Or at least that's what my dad taught me.

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u/shuffling-through 13d ago

My dad was a kid at the time, and likely wasn't given much of a choice.

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u/gurg2k1 13d ago

"Back in my day we used bricks as pillows!"

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u/tmo1983 13d ago

Am a dad can confirm. The only reason i have a lawn is to complain to my family.

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u/devildocjames 13d ago

Remember when the guy shot the kid who was hiding? He knows.

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u/solaris79 13d ago

I had that one about 7 years ago, and I gave it away in an amazing white elephant gift I labeled "The ATF Package". The package contained:

  • (A) Alcohol: A growler of a beer I had brewed
  • (T) Tobacco: A cigar
  • (F) Firearm: That nerf gun

I'm sad about giving the nerf gun away, but it provided a great laugh to see about 40 people be all cutthroat to try and get that gift once it was revealed.

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u/ProcyonHabilis 13d ago

That is a damn good white elephant gift

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u/aphielle 13d ago

Why is the guy with gun always so close in demo?

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u/Yinonormal 13d ago

I got rob my gunpoint and he had me do everything myself from six feet away besides ripping my chain off because that would probably take sometime doing myself I'm glad he knew that

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u/tootie 13d ago

There's robbery crews where a guy holds a gun to your back from ten feet away while someone approaches from the front to tell you and give orders. Even if you have your own gun it's useless. Worse than useless because they're going to take it.

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u/RaptorPrime 13d ago

This is how I was robbed. Dude walked up to me from across the street, pointed behind me and that's when I noticed the dude with a shotgun. No way to tell if it's loaded or anything. Told me to step out of my shoes, take off my jacket and had me empty my pockets one at a time then directed me to leave. Really fucking sucked.

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u/Canvaverbalist 13d ago

Then again I'd rather be robbed this way than by a guy twitching on coke and bathsalt with a knife against my throat.

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u/unoriginalsin 13d ago

Yeah, these guys have put some forethought into avoiding a felony murder charge over your wallet.

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u/Its_Stev03 13d ago

Reminds me of that freaky dude from The First Purge. Skeletor or whatever his name was

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u/Cheeeeseyboi 13d ago

If youre gonna rob me, id want like 6 blackwater crews, sniper locked onto my head 80 km away, satelite laser ready to go on a moments notice.

It would be an uplifting experience to see that they care about you.

“Oh, you guys. For me?”

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u/landspeed 13d ago

Clothes seem like such a weird thing to rob someone of.

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u/PilotPen4lyfe 13d ago

They wanted all the stuff out of it, and it's just degrading to have a man remove his pants.

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u/SolomonCRand 13d ago

You gonna chase someone when you don’t have shoes?

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u/remotetissuepaper 13d ago

There is one way to tell if it's loaded, but it's risky

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u/AdagioBoognish 13d ago

Holy shit.

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u/slowest_hour 13d ago

on the plus side if you have the martyrdom perk you'll drop 3 grenades when you die so they won't get to enjoy their victory for long

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u/chr0mius 13d ago

It's been so long since I spawned. How do I check my perks again?

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u/Daydreadz 13d ago

Get pulled over by a cop.

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u/gtg930r 13d ago

It seems I have the 'live but get multiple tickets perk'.

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u/650REDHAIR 13d ago

I think that's how you check your privilege.

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u/12apeKictimVreator 13d ago

jerk off and sneeze right as u finish within 5 minutes of waking up to bring up the BIOS

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u/chr0mius 13d ago

Damn I thought that takes a screenshot.

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u/nekika 13d ago

I can respect that even mugger's know how to social distance

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u/slowest_hour 13d ago

even low life criminals more respectful than the jackasses at the grocery store smh

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u/Roland1232 13d ago

That was me. Sorry about that.

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u/gamageeknerd 13d ago

Can I have my family photos and my lucky condom back?

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u/DangersVengeance 13d ago

Doesn’t seem like it brought you any luck that day

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

[removed]

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u/AndyK876 13d ago

I guess it really did work as protection

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u/Colonel_Potoo 13d ago

Well that's what happens in movies, so it must be true.

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u/Emsavio 13d ago

Mainly because everyone should know that you're at the mercy of the gunman if there's significant distance between you and him.

If they're this close, there's at least a chance that you can put up a fight if you know they aren't going away even after taking your wallet or something.

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u/memeyboi81 13d ago

because you can’t disarm people from far away. why would they show a demo from far away

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u/AdakaR 13d ago

It's actually not that far off what you can see irl, but it is indeed stupid. There is a youtube channel called active self protection that breaks down a ton of real incidents from CCTV and you can see that people who need/want to steal a phone using a gun is not tactically sound.

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u/youre_approaching_me 13d ago

Everytime i see one of those "self-defense", i will now think of this. Thanks already

974

u/FlamingIceCubez 13d ago

So is the best defense to play dead possum?

596

u/Octofusion 13d ago

Honestly, yeah, if you just went completely limp and fell to the ground, idk if the guy taking you hostage would still want to shoot you. Possibly a good idea

363

u/squeakyL 13d ago

I think it would weird them out more if you stayed hard

192

u/CoolAtlas 13d ago

*Looks around*

"No point in letting it go to waste"

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

unzips

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u/Thathippie_rico 13d ago

“YOUR AGGRESSION TURNS ME ON” AHHHHHHHRRRGGHHHHHH

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u/johnnybiggles 13d ago

Shoot your shot!

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u/aloofloofah 13d ago

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u/gentlewaterboarding 13d ago

Wonder if I can use this to win arguments at work.

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u/JmamAnamamamal 13d ago

Once

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u/therant 13d ago

Per workplace and per identity

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u/JmamAnamamamal 13d ago

Probably per country at least

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u/A_Furious_Mind 13d ago

Get all your fake passports ahead of time, because eventually people will stop helping you.

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u/Cerulean_Shades 13d ago

Didn't he almost get killed during one of those pranks? I'm pretty sure I remember him trying to get some guys to fight him while another came up behind with a gun aimed at his head just as he pulled his clothes off.

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u/Upstairs_Feature_570 13d ago

Yea im sure thats real

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u/magenta_bandit 13d ago

I saw that video as well. It could easily be staged though.

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u/Cerulean_Shades 13d ago

From what he said in the video comments, they didn't even know about the gun until they reviewed the video later.

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u/Electric_Bagpipes 13d ago

comment saved

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u/l4dlouis 13d ago

The white dudes little shuffle after the black guy as he’s running away is always hilarious

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u/JMer806 13d ago

Best defense if you’re getting mugged is to just give them whatever they want, they don’t want to kill you and you can get a new phone or whatever

If they want to kill you then they’ll either try to take you to another location - in which case fight like hell because dying on the street is probably better than whatever will happen elsewhere - or they’ll just kill you on the street anyway

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u/VanishingStylist 13d ago

This. Never be taken to a second location. Anything will be better than that

159

u/A_Canadian_appears 13d ago

What if it's my dad picking me up from school to take me to Dave & Buster's?

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u/OVerwhelmingAndDrunk 13d ago

Never. Fight like hell and stay at school.

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u/Knight_Blazer 13d ago

Since you're being picked up from school you will most likely have a pen or pencil on you, use that to stab your dad in the penis.

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u/A_Canadian_appears 13d ago

And then call him a pencil dick as he's being loaded into an ambulance.

Assert dominance.

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u/Mr_Industrial 13d ago

What if the dates going well and she wants to take me back to her place?

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u/KingOfTheYetis 13d ago

What happens next depends on if you ride in the passenger seat or the trunk.

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u/ahh_lawd 13d ago

Come on now. Let’s use realistic examples.

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u/bobthegoon89 13d ago

Street smarts!

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u/Stompedyourhousewith 13d ago

dad? can I have a silver money clip with $50 so I can throw it away at the first sign of danger?

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u/40oztofreedomtoday 13d ago

I am not good at math but I assume whatever you have on you is not worth as much as your life?

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u/JMer806 13d ago

I mean that depends on whether I’m wearing my going-out sword or my everyday sword

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u/Tangpo 13d ago

I was told by a former FBI agent who does training on surviving deadly situations to act like a crazy person. Yell at the sky, speak gibberish, twitch a lot, really sell it. Said that even violent criminals tend to stay away from the crazy.

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u/JakeArvizu 13d ago

Going to be a lot harder selling being crazy wearing Patagonia and a pair of all birds.

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u/Warmshadow77 13d ago

This is what I did when I lived in the hood and had to walk everywhere. I actually got a local nickname for being a crazy person. Good times.

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u/Tbiehl1 13d ago

If you HAD to HAD to defend yourself or someone else (obviously much better to just get out safely if you can), the actual defense wouldn't be to just immediately go for the snatch and grab like the final (joking) person did. You'd effectively play possum until their intention wasn't solely "kill you' or until they're in a lesser position of power (maybe looking to grab your wallet or watching your hand for your purse) and then you'd do the defense. The defense in this case would to use your hand to move their gun hand slightly behind or ahead of your head while also moving your head in the corresponding direction (so if hand back, head forward or vise versa) and then following up with the appropriate combatives. If you know how to take the gun do that. If you don't, hold onto the gun for dear life (pointed away from you and others) and scream/shout while kick/punch/bite the hell outta them. As long as they have that gun and are tryin to point it at you or others, you aren't safe - so you keep going.

Not sure if you wanted a real answer or were joking, but that's the defense if you HAD to do it.

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u/maimer__ 13d ago

id end up hesitating and smacking the gun at the direction my head is going

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u/GameArtZac 13d ago

Yeah, assess the situation first. You don't know if he has buddies. The goal should be to get them to let their guard down, so submit and comply. Might even drop your wallet or phone to get them distracted and to not point the gun at anyone for a moment before disarming.

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u/BigFish8 13d ago

Everytime I see a self defense video I think of wrist control

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u/Bubblykit 13d ago

This is great

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u/kslusherplantman 13d ago

Was that glover as the mugger?

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u/FangoriouslyDevoured 13d ago

Derrick comedy. He was in most if not all of their sketches.

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u/joeDUBstep 13d ago

Bro rape and the spelling bee skits were some of the greats.

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u/holyshoxxx 13d ago

“I brought my gamecube and dildo, bro.”

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u/randomjackass 13d ago

I think they were all students at NYU. They posted content back in the halcyon days of YouTube.

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u/_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__ 13d ago

This was pre-YouTube, CollegeHumor days! I lived it

Remember a show called The Post Show? I can't find it anywhere

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u/Two_ton_twentyone 13d ago

He got his start from these youtube skits

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u/RemarkableRyan 13d ago

"The only crack he'll be having tonight, is in his dreams."

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u/AndwanL 13d ago

Holy shit didn’t realise that was Donald Glover in that video!

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u/Hubabeh 13d ago

I was expecting a Rick roll but honestly this is one of the funniest videos i have seen.

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u/Gilgameshbrah 13d ago

If he was one of those "knock out without touching" people he would've survived.... I guess he didn't train with the right master.

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u/chipthamac 13d ago

LMAO, the last 60 seconds. "Well if you flip your toes back and forth well, it nullifies it. PLUS he was a nonbeliever"

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u/Piogre 13d ago

Gotta love a fighting style that's hard-countered by wiggling your toes and the power of positive thinking.

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u/chipthamac 13d ago

Karate guy trying to knock out skeptic with Chi: "I can't believe it didn't work?!?!"

Skeptic: "Now you're getting it!"

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u/AirFashion 13d ago

Amazing. “He was a total non-believer.”

Yeah that’s how that works. If I don’t believe in bullets or knives, I can’t get shot or stabbed either.

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u/death_of_flats 13d ago

Bullets are excellent at making compelling arguments though.

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u/veritas_maori 13d ago

Can anyone tell me why there is a Philadelphia Eagles logo in the background of the self defense video portion?

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u/HimbieJimbie 13d ago

Glad I’m not the only one wondering this

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u/Word_Iz_Bond 13d ago

There's also a Cincinnati Bengals logo to the right. My guess they are just bootlegged images that looked cool to whomever printed the paper.

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u/TitanTigers 13d ago

The Eagles’ logo faces left. Probably some tiny company using their logo as a knockoff

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u/canocrows 13d ago

rightt omg these self defense videos always confuse me cause the reaction time is never faster than the action of the person with a gun

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u/ShodoDeka 13d ago

Well it can be faster than the reaction time of the human holding the gun, but most likely it is not...

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u/importantmemes User Editable 13d ago

Actually if the shooter is right by you (like in your face) it is possible to whip your hand around and slap his gun away from your face/head. If you can grab hold of the gun you can force him to misfire and possibly save ur life. And then lick him in the balls.

Edit: KICK DAMMIT

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u/MissedYourJoke 13d ago

Do I need to maintain eye contact while licking his balls?

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u/CaptainShrubbery 13d ago

I've decided I'd just rather be shot.

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u/MissedYourJoke 13d ago

...with the gun, right?

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u/dapoorv 13d ago

Oh you will be shot one way or another.

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u/infinitezero8 13d ago

shot

Oh you're getting shot alright ;)

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u/Arroused-by-mirrors 13d ago

No no, lick is fine

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u/gordo65 13d ago

I do this whenever I think a guy is distracted.

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u/Hoelyshit_bitchuit Didn't Expect It 13d ago

|lick him in the balls.|

Ok next step? How long do i keep licking?

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u/angelazy 13d ago

Gotta work the shaft

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u/TH02N Didn't Expect It 13d ago

As long as needed to stay alive. Innit?

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u/hugeneral647 13d ago

Unorthodox approach, but I appreciate your creativity

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u/croutonaccelerator 13d ago

If were holding a gun and someone licked my balls I would legit be distracted.

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u/APiousCultist 13d ago

Clearly I need to hold more people at gunpoint.

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u/Artforge1 13d ago

Mr. Owl, How many licks does it take?

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u/MintsAreFresh 13d ago

LETS FIND OUT

a one!

A TWO!

A

POP POP SPLURGEEE

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u/DanHasArrived 13d ago

Nah, lick em, ultimate power move, goal #1 of self defense: take control of the situation.

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u/RawrCat 13d ago

"You wanna get crazy? Let's get FUCKING CRAZY"

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u/Mom-spaghetti 13d ago

Step-robber, what are you doing???

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u/Batwyane 13d ago

"my wallet? I can do you one better."

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u/trebory6 13d ago

And then lick him in the balls.

No no, assert your dominance.

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u/Arktoran 13d ago

I feel like you might've been making a good point but all my brain registered was you saying something about grabbing a masked stranger and licking his balls

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u/Unidan_how_could_you 13d ago

Damn , what time u want me to come over and mug u tonight?👀

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u/OrdainedFury 13d ago

And then lick him in the balls

I'd rather just be shot

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u/gordo65 13d ago

The person who acts will naturally get a split second advantage over the person who is watching. That's why most people can't catch a dollar bill that's dropped by another person.

The person with the gun can prevent these maneuvers just by backing up a step or two, and aiming at your chest instead of your head, but if they're stupid enough to do it, then you do have a chance at disarming them.

Obviously, you'd only try something like this if you thought that you would probably not survive the situation you found yourself in. If a guy is holding up a liquor store, just let him do it. But if you're being kidnapped or you think the person with the gun isn't going to let you live, then it makes sense to try to disarm him.

Also, if you ever find yourself being held by one guy with a knife at your throat, and another with a gun to your head, you're probably fucked. Your best option is probably to say something like, "What are they paying you? I'll double it, now let's go kill them."

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u/shamdamdoodly 13d ago

I think it's mostly banking on the idea that the gun holder isn't 100% ready to shoot if you flinch. So it's not reaction time so much as decision making time. So if you hesitate for even a half a second to pull the trigger, that's all it takes.

Essentially calling a bluff.

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u/GrimmSheeper 13d ago

And if they were perfectly ready to shoot without hesitation, there’s a decent chance that you’re going to still be shot or otherwise seriously injured.

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u/Disgod 13d ago

Seriously, even further, in a situation like that does anybody think they're gonna be on top of trigger discipline? There's a decent chance they're gonna clinch their finger down on the trigger without thinking about it and let one fly if you try screwing with them.

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u/lankist 13d ago edited 13d ago

The only decent self-defense techniques are, in this order:

1: Run the fuck away.

2: Cooperate as much as you reasonably can to deescalate the situation if you can't run the fuck away (and if given the opportunity, RUN THE FUCK AWAY.)

Everything else after that is a Hail Mary with extremely low odds of success, and anyone who teaches you otherwise is a grifter.

The whole self-defense industry tends to be a bunch of machismo bullshit milking off the fragile masculinity of its customers. Even "legitimate" teachers will often just give a shallow acknowledgement to running the fuck away before spending 99.9% of their time on all the patently worse ideas, failing to teach anything actually useful about escaping situations.

Like, there's so much you could actually formalize and teach about situational awareness and running the fuck away, how to evade an attacker, how to deter an attacker by finding witnesses/making a public spectacle, how to deal with a stalker following you, how to flee a situation casually before it escalates, how to deescalate a situation, how to flee as a group/family unit etc. etc. But nobody does because these classes only exist to supplement dick size.

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u/gelatenous-blobfish 13d ago

I had a fucking great teacher – this dude fully acknowledged that we wanted to learn useful skills, which is why we did so many sprints. Then we did krav maga because it's fun and challenging and a lot of it IS useful, but the first thing we learned every time was - give 'em your shit, then RUN. That dude knew his stuff too. A genuinely good instructor.

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u/lankist 13d ago

There are good instructors out there, don't get me wrong, and I'm not bashing on people who practice martial arts for the purposes of self-enrichment and exercise.

However, I would say that there's a LOT about "escape training" that even the best instructors don't touch on. Running sprints and physical training are good, but there's a LOT more that could be taught, as I listed above. Namely: situational awareness skills, social exploitation skills (e.g. placing yourself in the view of witnesses as deterrence), evading a stalker before bolting into a full-on sprint, the logistics of fleeing in a group, etc. There's a lot more to running away than just the running, and escape can be a perfectly valid and teachable skill. I mean, fuck, you could sell it as "super spy evasion techniques" or something is "run the fuck away training" doesn't sell.

My point is that there's an untapped need for "escape training" that's currently been overwhelmed with the far less valuable fight-training. Launching into the sprint is only the beginning of an escape.

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u/the_dayman 13d ago

Ha makes me think of this always sunny clip.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vV9iLHOTAaI

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u/Retard-69 Didn't Expect It 13d ago

The robbers in the fake situations are standing there like: comeon do your superhero moves already and defeat us.

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u/EverBread1 Didn't Expect It 13d ago

Martial artist here. If your life is being threatened, your first priority is getting out of the way of the gun. And then you can do whatever to save yourself. Otherwise, your best choice is just complying. Your life is worth a lot more than your wallet or car.

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u/Felzlek 13d ago

Your life is worth a lot more than your wallet or car.

Speak for yourself. I'm not being self deprecating here, but I am an official Captain Planet Planeteer and they don't make those cards anymore!

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u/Dreidhen 13d ago

🎵We're the planeteers, and you can be one too, because oh wait you got shot in the face and are dead now, sucks to be you🎶

The power isn't yours

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u/Shabozz 13d ago

the trick is when somebody is mugging you, you give them your wallet but then you say "Is it okay if I can keep my Captain Planet Planeteer card?" and they will obviously start searching in your wallet to verify that they're actually talking to a Captain Planet Planeteer. Now that they're distracted, you can easily disarm them with the martial arts you learned from Captain Planet.

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u/cosmicosmo4 13d ago

I use the power of heart to get them to leave their life of crime.

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u/Hyronious 13d ago

I got mugged in London a couple years ago and for some reason the only thing I could think of was that my residence permit was in my wallet so as the guy walker away I called out and actually convinced him to come back and give me the permit back... afterwards I felt like a complete moron, that probably only saved me an online form and trip to the post office and put me back in arms reach of the guy with the knife...

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u/Felzlek 13d ago edited 13d ago

I'm sure that mugger went back to their mugger family and mugger friends and told them about the legend who called them back to get their residence permit back.

I once mugged a person in London

I took all their shit and I was done

I slid away like a turd

When behind me I heard

"Can I please have my permit?" What a legend!

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u/QuarterFlounder 13d ago

Is it worth more than looking badass though?

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u/WuziMuzik 13d ago

there is a lot of fake self defense teachers around nowadays, and they can seriously get you killed. the best self defense is keeping yourself out of dangerous situations. and be aware of your surroundings.

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u/SeriouslyImADragon 13d ago

As a teenager I was a martial arts student. I asked why we had to run 2 miles every day in our warmup, and my instructor told me "running away is the most important defense you will ever have". That line stuck with me, haha.

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u/The_Big_Daddy 13d ago

When I did Tae Kwon Do, my instructor was a Russian 4th degree black belt who was also a Krav Maga expert who learned martial arts because he kept getting into street fights in the USSR as a kid. He was pretty badass.

He was doing a demo on self-defense and he said "I'm going to show you the most effective self defense technique in all of martial arts". He had a student try to attack him and he sprinted full speed out of the building.

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u/guitarguywh89 13d ago

Did he ever come back?

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u/The_Big_Daddy 13d ago

I've been waiting in the class for 7 years. Any day now....

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u/Chxo 13d ago

Nope, never got a refund either!

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u/Colonel_Potoo 13d ago

Dude with a knife or gun asking for something, phone, wallet, shoes? He gets it and you stay alive. Dude going to fight you? Run away. Absolutely no choice but to fight? Do your best and whenever you can with your martial arts training... and then run away whenever you get the chance.

I don't know where people live that they think there will be a single situation in their life where they'll be held at gunpoint by someone who actively wants to kill them AND are giving them time to fight back...

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u/Be-Kind_Always-Learn 13d ago

Do your best and whenever you can with your martial arts training

Nope. I have martial arts training and the real answer is to ignore that shit. It's an art form and exercise, it has absolutely nothing to do with reality except maybe grapples.

In reality if you have to fight, fuck being fair, they might be trying to kill you. Grab improvised weapons, kick their balls and bite and scream and gouge their eyes out. Get them on the ground, keep making noise, and keep running. Call 911 as soon as possible. And scream that part nice and loud so they know they have to boogie out.

If someone corners you like this and don't simply want your money, you treat it like life or death and do whatever it takes. Double so for women.

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u/MR___SLAVE 13d ago

Exactly this. There is no such thing as fighting dirty. If you life is in danger, pick up that brick, swing for the testicles or go Mike Tyson on them. If it ain't black and white, peck, scratch and bite

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u/Colonel_Potoo 13d ago

I fully agree with you; I was just talking about martial arts in very broad terms, as in knowing how to kick from muay thai, or deliver a good punch from boxing or anything that can help, really. Of course trying to go full jiu jitsu on the man or perform your best kata on him might actually make it worse for you.

Double so for women.

Actually the statistics are bad for both genders; men are more at risk to die during assaults, women are more at risk to be raped...

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u/trg30809 13d ago

I’ve always liked the line “you can’t lose a fight you run away from.”

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u/Icepick823 13d ago

It's like rule 1 of Zombieland, cardio. Don't try to fight the undead horde when you can run away.

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u/3226 13d ago

I remember watching 'Martial Law' with Sammo Hung doing a scene where this cocky self defence guy is asking him what he'd do if someone had a gun on him, and demonstrates with a prop gun.

Sammo Hung just goes 'surrender'.

Then the guy says 'but what if he really means to sh-'
and gets halfway through the word 'shoot' before Sammo takes the gun off him and points it back at him.

Then he reiterates that this is just practice, and in real life, you always surrender. Because Sammo Hung isn't an idiot.

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u/elitelwarrior 13d ago

Why would the shooter get close to his victims

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u/Stolichnayaaa 13d ago

because the script said so?

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u/Alex_Delf 13d ago

"So it's going to be really hard for him to escape right?"

"No actually, it's going to be super easy barely an inconvenience"

"Oh really?"

"yeah yeah yeah, he's just going to grab the gun from the criminals hand and use it against him"

"Well why would the criminal get close to him if he's got a gun?"

"I don't know"

"Fair enough"

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u/Anthony-Stark 13d ago

Ah, Pitch Meetings are TIGHT

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u/theorial 13d ago

And I'd appreciate it if you got all the way off my back about it...

(youtube screen rant)

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u/SpacemanJC 13d ago

Oh okay, lemme get off of that thing!

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u/Triplebizzle87 13d ago

To be fair, the one time I got robbed, he basically got behind me and put the gun on my head.

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u/Illumina_ted 13d ago

youd be surprised.

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u/five7off 13d ago

This.

I love all the comments talking about how they would disarm their attacker.

If you were capable of disarming and had the experience necessary to pull off such a maneuver, you would also know that it's best not to even try.

Most likely the attacker will take what he wants and leave. If he's there to kill you, chances are he won't be within range for your melee attack.

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u/KingKreeper17 13d ago

Distract, clear, control, disarm, disable.

Except most of these "self defense" videos skip straight to control, disarm, or sometimes even disable.

Even if you're trained, unless the person is 100% going to kill you or someone you need to protect just give them your wallet. It's not worth your life. Just cut your losses and cancel the cards.

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u/Cubbance 13d ago

I've been robbed at gunpoint four times while working in retail in the city. It's always mildly amusing to me the posturing people do. "If it were ME, I'd jump over the counter and beat their ass!" I can say that the experience of a gun in the face is much different from the daydream of judo chopping their ass. It's scary. Just fucking comply and give them the money.

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u/Gummymyers124 13d ago

So many people on reddit be saying stuff like “If it were me, I would have kicked their ass”

Like no you would not... you’d probably shit yourself. Like a normal person would.

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u/Cubbance 13d ago

For real. That shit is scary. I cried like a baby afterward every time except for the last, where it was mostly just confusion, because I didn't think he really had a gun, but I wasn't taking any chances.

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u/SilentRiot14 13d ago

Glad you’re safe, and sorry you went through such a traumatizing experience. Four times, Jesus...

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u/Cubbance 13d ago

Thank you. It fucked me up for a while. But luckily the last time was almost 20 years ago, so I've mostly gotten past it. But holy shit, this pandemic started rough for me, because seeing people in masks was really triggering for a while.

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u/The_Big_Daddy 13d ago

Yeah I worked in retail and someone said that and I was like "Why? It's not my money.". I worked for a massive chain, the drawer had $1000 max at one time. That's a rounding error to a company like them.

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u/Cubbance 13d ago

Exactly. If I'm not going to risk my life for my own money, I sure as fuck won't for someone else's.

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u/theonlymexicanman 13d ago

The most vital lesson of self defense is literally to run away from the problem and only use self-defense when absolutely necessary.

Naturally that’s more of a knife/fist situation but for a gun literally fucking comply. Don’t risk your life to fulfill some improbable Macho Man day dream.

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u/CringeName 13d ago

Because the disarm is the flashy part that gets the views. Wonder how many people have gotten themselves killed doing some dumb shit like that.

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u/Azar002 13d ago

Dang it! You'll get 'em next time buddy.

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u/Fifteen_inches 13d ago

Self defense is one of those things the internet knows nothing about, so you get people who know nothing talking to people who think they know every but really they know every little.

This comment section is one example, it’s “rip you but I’m different” vs “just run away forehead”

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u/Impossible-Ad-3060 13d ago

This made me lol. Thanks.

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u/Ripcity0119 13d ago

I picture the most country accent when he says “shit!”