r/TrueOffMyChest May 04 '21

I tried to make my relationship work while my GF sells nudes but I just can’t do it anymore.

[removed]

22k Upvotes

View all comments

933

u/Maritimerintraining May 04 '21

Lots of people telling you to end it, but don't highlight the last line that you're really emotionally invested. Talk to her about it, and see how she responds. Be open and honest, and just see if that resonates.

If it doesn't, then you have a decision to make. People shouldn't shame her for selling nudes, but at the same time, she should validate how that is making you feel, and how much it is impacting you. If she does care for you, she should listen to your concerns.

223

u/sailorcass May 04 '21

I agree. It seems a lot of people dart right at the onlyfans issue and not the part where we emotionally cares for her. Not everyone can handle being in a relationship sex worker, and that shouldn’t be an issue. If she was engaged as he is in their relationship, hopefully she would be open minded in stopping. If not, he shouldn’t feel bad. It’s not everyone’s thing and feel pressured into staying

58

u/Apple_butters12 May 04 '21

You can be emotionally invested, but still realize that another aspect is so bad that you need to leave. As he mentioned, what’s killing him is that she goes out of her way to perform for others but gives him nothing in the bedroom. That’s a tough pill to swallow seeing that your GF will do things for strangers she won’t for the person she supposedly cares for.

OP also mentions that he has tried to make it work. If the OP is this unhappy with the situation they should leave because mentally it’s no longer a healthy situation.

I think most people are assuming that he has had these conversations because they said “they’ve tried to make it work” but who knows.

6

u/sailorcass May 04 '21

I can see that being the case. It just seems like a chunk of th comment section hyper focused on his gf doing sex work rather than his worries about their sexual relationship. From what I read and OPs replies in the comment section, he seems to not be too upset at the sex work itself but feeling he’s getting the short end of the stick. But I agree, if they did try working it out and it’s draining him mentally he should let it go

1

u/aroundboxes1964 May 05 '21

Well, she's more doing it for money not just for strangers. Sounds like she's burnt out and he needs to pull her out of it for her own sake, too.

1

u/bobsagetsmaid May 04 '21

Should anyone be happy that their partner is a sex worker?

8

u/sailorcass May 04 '21

That’s up for debate. Some people just don’t care, have a voyuerism kink or just don’t feel a Internet connection with someone is the same as real life. As long as it’s consensual I personally don’t feel the need to judge

2

u/AirNick2395 May 04 '21

Its all personal preference really. Imo even having a stripper as a wife or gf wouldn't bother me to bad depending on the location. If she enjoys it and brings in money I'm not going to complain. Now when it comes to actual hands on I draw the line at. At the end of the day as long as she comes home to me and only has sex or romanticizes with me I'll be ok. But would never want her to feel like she had to do it, would definitely rather me get a second job then she feel like she had to do that. But obviously if the relationship started to hinder romantically I would begin questioning a lot.

(Wife did OF and Reddit for a while, made decent money for a bit [and definitely had some weirdos, guy paid $60 once for a 40 sec vid of her feet and moan] but quit a month or so ago when they changed terms of service making it basically impossible to stop people from taking and using your pictures and videos.)