r/ForeverAlone Jun 16 '21

When everyone knows you're foreveralone and wants to remind you

Regardless of how much I complain about being single and feeling hopeless about meeting anyone, which as I've gotten older has been less and less, now almost never, worst I do is say online dating sucks. People know and feel the need to show their superiority in terms of them having normal dating experience and me having none. Years ago someone who was supposed to be a friend sent me a picture/video on Snapchat of his girlfriend sucking his dick. I didn't ask for any weird shit like that to be sent to me, but knowing him I could tell it was just for the sake of saying "You don't get any sex and I do and you're a loser". Other people have just sent me a picture of themselves in some situation where I feel they're trying to convey to me that they're in or about to be in some sort of romantic/intimate situation, just to show me that they're with someone and I'm not. There's never any text, just the picture 20 minutes ago it happened again. Girl I dated 3+1/2 years ago, it never went anywhere, but we stayed friends which is nice. She's been seeing this guy who's a complete jerk (go figure) and he just randomly sent me a Snapchat through HER phone with him lying in her bed giving a peace sign with his fingers. I find that a really weird thing to do, I only met the guy once and I'm sure he could tell that I'm a quiet unassertive loser, but I get the feeling he knows I also (still) like her a bit and just wants to show me that she sees him as better, thus me = worse.

Why do people treat me this way? I have never done anything wrong to anyone. I have grown up being bullied, left out, told how weird and crap I am in every way. Peers, even those who were supposed to be friends have told me since school that I'm ugly and they're not, said that nobody would ever have sex with or go out with me, just came up to me and said it out of nowhere while I was minding my own business. I never retaliated. I took it in my stride and walked away, maybe gave them the finger and tried to be the bigger man or whatever and FOR WHAT!? THIS SHIT IS STILL HAPPENING TO ME AT NEARLY 30. I have the right mind to just commit suicide and write a suicide note blaming it on everyone who ever wronged me for no reason. WHY was I born to experience such torment??? There is no god. I can't take this any more. To add insult to injury in 2017 I was diagnosed with brain cancer, "lucky me" survived because I caught it early, but the same type of brain tumour killed my dad when I was 4. He was only mid 40's. Life was hell growing up. 2 older brother's I was scared of because they were drug/alcoholics. Cops used to raid the house coz one of my brothers was a fuckwit who couldn't go a night without doing something illegal. My mum went back to work but wasn't earning much so we were quite poor most of the time. I see no future for myself if I can't live with my mum any more, she's getting old, we kind of look after each other.

27 Upvotes

16

u/EndeavourToFreefall Hikikomori Jun 16 '21

The fuck kind of friends do you have? That's not normal behaviour.

5

u/afraidtojump Jun 16 '21

I might as well not have any at all.

4

u/GamerVictor Jun 17 '21

It's worth noting, if it's not obvious already, that he didn't do that just to assert superiority over you, but also possession over his girlfriend. In a way, he saw you as a threath to his status as "the big man". The word jerk isn't enough to describe such behavior, it is so incredibly disgusting that it's mind boggling. My friend, believe me, you're worth more than the attention you're giving him right now. I know that controlling feelings is not possible, but directing your attention to this guy is lowering yourself to his level, it's telling him that he is the big man. A child's tantrum is better left ignored. I know these are no words of comfort, because, if I'm allowed to be so blunt, in this forum the only thing that would comfort anyone is sex and expressions of love, but if you're capable of realizing that he's a jerk for doing that, you already have some degree of maturity that he doesn't. Also, at this point, it should already be clear that it's a toxic friendship for you, you're getting nothing out of it. Whether you continue the friendship is up to you, but I seriously advise you to not see their Snapchat posts or any other status updates anymore, for your own mental health.

10

u/Professional87348778 Jun 16 '21

Delete those people on snapchat. That's not normal behavior and there's no reason for you to put up with it.

8

u/afraidtojump Jun 16 '21 edited Jun 20 '21

I blocked deleted anyone connected to them from everything

2

u/GamerVictor Jun 17 '21

It's worth noting, if it's not obvious already, that he didn't do that just to assert superiority over you, but also possession over his girlfriend. In a way, he saw you as a threath to his status as "the big man". The word jerk isn't enough to describe such behavior, it is so incredibly disgusting that it's mind boggling. My friend, believe me, you're worth more than the attention you're giving him right now. I know that controlling feelings is not possible, but directing your attention to this guy is lowering yourself to his level, it's telling him that he is the big man. A child's tantrum is better left ignored. I know these are no words of comfort, because, if I'm allowed to be so blunt, in this forum the only thing that would comfort anyone is sex and expressions of love, but if you're capable of realizing that he's a jerk for doing that, you already have some degree of maturity that he doesn't. Also, at this point, it should already be clear that it's a toxic friendship for you, you're getting nothing out of it. Whether you continue the friendship is up to you, but I seriously advise you to not see their Snapchat posts or any other status updates anymore, for your own mental health.

3

u/afraidtojump Jun 17 '21

I deleted Snapchat and deleted her off my phone. We can't be friends anymore if she's going to go out with someone like that

2

u/xxthegoldenonesxx Jun 17 '21

You keep saying they do this to show that they know you're alone but I don't think so. Not everything is a personal attack to you (except the ex's boyfriend but it seems any new boyfriend will want to do something like that to an ex of the girl just to show off). Humans in general are show offs so of course they'd send things like that. It might make you feel better to know they don't do it specifically to spite you. Just to make themselves look cooler.

1

u/thesehoesaintloyal88 Jun 17 '21

I’m sorry you’re going through this man. I’ve had to deal with these issues too. Don’t give up

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

0

u/afraidtojump 11d ago

If you were me then I'd be you and I'd use YOUR body to be FA