r/Cringetopia May 04 '21

Why would you even do this

47k Upvotes

1k

u/highflyer136 May 04 '21

so, this was how2basic's childhood

196

u/[deleted] May 04 '21

Explains the constant blood-curdling screaming.

52

u/RobloxBotCreator May 05 '21

how to throw your child a birthday party

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11k

u/ExtremelyTiltedGrape May 04 '21

Kid just wanted some cake...

5k

u/Sarabroop May 04 '21

They were going to eat the boy, that's why he was covered sugary things.

1k

u/Extreme_Ninja-69 May 04 '21
  • bake

803

u/oo_ee stupid fucking dumbass loser May 04 '21

anyway, before I continue with the recipe, I'll tell you why this meal means so much to me...

378

u/bhavesh_t21 May 04 '21

This meal is fully home grown, add preservatives accordingly.

189

u/Amnosia_carrier May 04 '21

This meal came out of my balls so you know it’s organic and local

143

u/BslitB May 04 '21

Now before we bake, do YOU like saving money? Then use Honey, I've saved over 500 kidneys using that extension. Don't forget to use code "EatTheKidzSoul" for absolutely nothing!

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u/TheFeathersStorm May 04 '21

My great Granma Joan, god bless her soul, was a WW2 veteran army medic. She always wanted to help those in need, and even risked her life to do so. Anyways, here is the recipe for my dad's "famous" sauerkraut and ketchup smoothie.

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u/theracemaniac May 04 '21

Somebody take the internet away from this gentleman.

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u/[deleted] May 04 '21

and to enjoy his birthday

64

u/Astronerd28 May 04 '21

10 years later they ask why he turned out as an introvert

13

u/slothandthehound May 05 '21

"why don't you ever come see us anymore?"

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u/Ibetrayed_makarov May 04 '21

Worse is that those fucking idiots ruined his birthday

78

u/limping_man May 04 '21

No doubt ruined his self esteem too

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u/Love_The_Winter_Time May 04 '21

I was seriously fine with it being a brotherly tradition, "hazing our little bro/cousin/nephew thing," until I fucking saw they used the entire cake. Someone call CPS, this kid just wants his birthday sweet.

As Marie Antoinette would say, "Let him eat cake."

78

u/johnny__THM May 04 '21

It's a bullshit tradition in my culture to do terrible things to you in the first few moments of your new age do the rest of the year is filled with live and kindness. The idea is to get the controlled bad out of the way to make room for the good and it's incredibly stupid lol.

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u/Titan9312 May 04 '21

“Happy birthday to the ground!”

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u/SexualPorcupine May 04 '21 edited May 04 '21

Fun fact: it is very probable that Marie Antoinette never actually said that

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u/HappyChappieJr_ May 04 '21

The cake is a lie

127

u/O1_O1 May 04 '21

This was not a triumph.

67

u/vexquoi_2 May 04 '21

Not making any notes here

55

u/xt1zer May 04 '21

Not huge success

42

u/WhyScorpion May 04 '21

It's so easy to overstate my disgust

37

u/Khajiit_saw_nothing May 04 '21

Aperture Science won't do what they must because they can't

22

u/SaracatungaG May 04 '21

Not for the good of all of us

19

u/oghassemi May 04 '21

Especially the ones who are alive

10

u/Maneve May 04 '21

Now there is sense crying over every mistake

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u/chaseandqualy May 04 '21

The part that cracked me up was when the cake was mostly gone but the poor kid just kept cutting with his little knife just trynna finish the job through all the chaos.

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5k

u/Itouchyouinthere May 04 '21

Yes, let's make it about what everyone else wants to do rather than the kid who's birthday it is

2k

u/BigClam1 May 04 '21

Precisely- if it’s my birthday and I decide I want to eat my cake but you think it’d be funnier to throw it at me, you can fuck off

Unless of course they got him another waiting but even then it’s still annoying because I wouldn’t want to be covered in cake and egg

511

u/NeonWafflex May 04 '21

Yeah, there are simpler and easier ways to do funny/surprising stuff instead of just ruining peoples days

93

u/__mr_snrub__ May 04 '21

If you’re only funny by making other people the punchline, you’re not actually funny.

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u/xX_ThiccKrabz69_Xx May 04 '21

My dick of a grandpa did that. My mom spent almost 2 days making an awesome minecraft cake for my 10th birthday, but when I went to blow out the candles he smashed my face into it.

148

u/NotleksA May 04 '21

damn, i used to get so mad when other kids would blow out my candles during my birthday, i would've had a year long tantrum if someone did this to me, hope your next few birthdays were better!

105

u/xX_ThiccKrabz69_Xx May 04 '21

Thank you, they were. He wasn't allowed in the kitchen when we blew out candles anymore.

67

u/TripperDay May 04 '21

Dang was grandpa permabanned from blowing out candles?

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u/BentGadget May 04 '21

"hey grandpa, your birthday is coming up soon. It should be a good time. After all, I have been taking shooting lessons at the gun club."

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u/rokudaimehokage May 04 '21

Dude they better have a whole ass shower, toys r us, and bakery on stand by for this shit wtf.

121

u/BigClam1 May 04 '21

Man I’d still be pissed at the fact that I’d have to go get myself cleaned up in the shower after getting ready for a party

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u/Dan_Jams May 04 '21

Right lol " happy birthday YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT stupid ass 8 year old boy"

Hes gonna gain some fucked up traits from this

156

u/Moist-Item1406 May 04 '21

CONGRATULATIONS

You Have Unlocked

Sibling hatred: You have been thoroughly wronged by your siblings and you have a special lump of cold hatred towards them::: Effects :Each time you interact with your siblings there is a 30% chance to become outraged and react with aggression towards your siblings. (Warning if not removed Sibling hatred will upgrade to Family Fued)

Level 3 Embarrassed de-buff added. For 3 Hours 30% of your proficiency in Interaction is reduced.

You have Gained the title Birthday joke:::Effects: Each time your the butt end of the joke you will have a 10% chance to shut down emotionally for 3 Hours

21

u/Tanjar22 May 04 '21

Oh hey, I think I have Sibling Hatred.

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u/Scrotemeal69 May 04 '21

This is what I hate about birthdays in general. Every one wants to make plans with you, or drag you out to do something for YOUR birthday, but then get all salty when you don’t want to. Listen folks, it’s awesome that you want to help celebrate my birthday, but if all I want to do is sit at home and play games or watch movies, don’t make me feel like an asshole, it’s my birthday

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u/NickDev64 May 04 '21 edited May 04 '21

why the fuck would you do that to a child, man

edit: dad jokes

2k

u/DarthReznor32 May 04 '21

This might shock you, but the vast majority of adults do not know or do not care to know the proper way to treat children

657

u/Ekvinoksij May 04 '21

Yeah, but the vast majority of that same vast majority knows not to do this...

355

u/xoxobloo May 04 '21

It’s sad but what I noticed is a lot of the people who would make good parents know parenting is a huge responsibility and don’t want to do it so they don’t have kids. And people who don’t really think about it have kids because it’s a step in life and not a huge responsibility.

131

u/lars330 May 04 '21

Something something Idiocracy

47

u/kejartho May 04 '21

Just a side note. I know plenty of well adjusted people who came from shitty home lives. Just because someone's parents were bad/uncaring/abusive does not mean the kids will be too.

45

u/Sleyvin May 04 '21

But you don't walk away from abusive home without some trauma lingering.

Plenty of well adjusted people are suffering in silence from those kind of childhood.

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u/n0ttsweet May 04 '21

I'm in the first half and I agree with everything you said

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u/DarthReznor32 May 04 '21

Depends where you are. I'm assuming the kid is male, and it looks like all the adults here are male as well. Doing stuff like this to boys is very normalized in a lot of cultures since males are seen as tough or, if they aren't, in need of toughening up

150

u/MisterVonJoni May 04 '21

I got teased relentlessly as a child by my parents. In their eyes it was all in fun but as an adult its definitely lead to being terrified of being in positions where I'm vulnerable (dancing, singing, shit unless I'm with close friends I wont even play charades)

45

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat May 04 '21

In one case the parents did it so much (used to post youtube videos about "I pranked my son again") custody was taken away from them....

"But it was just a prank, bro!"

If only one side thinks it is funny, you are tormenting him, not pranking him.

12

u/MisterVonJoni May 04 '21

Yeah I remember that happening. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and the stuff they did was never anything outrageous or abusive. But it definitely has had a big impact on my adult life.

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u/shonuph May 04 '21

Having a mom literally point and laugh at me after humiliating me in front of others (knowing I was extremely shy and sensitive) then treating me with extreme callousness if I cried or got upset) impacted my life in ways I was not aware of until I was over 40 yrs old, leading a life completely devoid of healthy social interactions & no idea what it was like to have a positive parental relationship, and potential for any relationships with“family”. If people hurt me now they are instantly and completely eliminated from my life. I do not keep friends. I have rejected and evacuated all hope of “family” anything from my life, I have severe depression and extremely bad anxiety. I’ve never had a “friend group” and I think about suicide daily. I only interact with people in an environment I can cut them off without consequences (anonymously, online only & not in “real life”). Her favorite things to call me as a child was “ugly” and “hateful”. I live in a bubble of scar tissue and I watch other people live and be happy and have fun with others, and I’m no longer sad that I’m not one of them, because I know it’s not possible for me, and I am just grateful to feel (mostly) safe in my hiding place. I have not lived, and I accept that I will die without living.

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u/Real_MidGetz May 04 '21

That’s doofenschmirtz level mental trauma like god damn

1k

u/Da-Chicken May 04 '21

This poor kid is gonna make an egginator

259

u/CaptainRamboFire May 04 '21

A device to make poaching eggs easier

43

u/tbagger666 May 04 '21

Oh god, not poached eggs!

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u/Thedot69 May 04 '21

This isn't funny this is just mean

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u/mesha45 May 04 '21

I get upset just looking at it, why would you do this to a (your) kid? Sure, an exoloding creamcake could maaaybe be funny but this is just wrong.

147

u/iiQayRay May 04 '21

Ikr this kind of bullying is too much. Also why i fucking hate having bday parties

14

u/TinyKittenConsulting May 04 '21

I say we hold a Reddit birthday party where no one gets pushed into anything, no one gets any shitty gag gifts that they have to pretend are funny, no one sings happy birthday, and no weird drunk uncles/aunts are allowed.

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u/DopeAppleBroheim May 04 '21

I’m convinced half the population has some type of personality disorder

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u/updog25 May 04 '21

This honestly made me want to cry.

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u/[deleted] May 04 '21

Same. I want to hug this boy so bad. I felt tears welling up when he's shaking his head at the end. Fucking assholes.

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u/Lilmexican26o May 04 '21

U can see even after all that he still wants to cut the cake 💔💔

644

u/KingTorygg May 04 '21

I saw that, too. That poor kid.

Some of his family didn't look like they were too gentle, either and he really doesn't look very old at all.

51

u/JesusHatesLiberals May 04 '21

That's cause they're complete assholes

18

u/Whisky_Thief May 05 '21

The kid looks about 3-4 years old. Heartbreaking

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u/PetyrBaelish May 04 '21 edited May 05 '21

Yeah the egg pouring is awful, but gentle at least. Towards the end some of them are full speed chucking cake at the kid... Spartan kids probably had nicer bdays than this mess

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u/pratyush103 May 04 '21

It just broke my heart :',( that poor guy

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u/nopesoapradio May 04 '21

I’m a grown man. And that part broke my heart and my eyes were watering. Those adults and older kids are a bunch of losers. I just want to give that kid a hug. I have a 3 year old son and that video infuriates me.

55

u/mattmentecky May 04 '21

I am a relatively new father with a one year old son and like most new parents it’s changed my perspective. Whenever I see a video or article about some child experiencing sadness or trauma or abuse it hits me hard and then I realize I am removed from the scenario, like there are literal adults and parents in that child’s orbit. Like the failure of adults to act is another layer of anger and sadness beyond just experiencing sympathy or sadness for the child.

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u/Digital_Negative May 04 '21

Same. That was awful to watch. I cannot imagine treating my children this way.

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u/sleeping_moron May 04 '21

It’s making me tear up. I have a kid about that age and I can see the confusion this kid has. I am picturing my daughter in this situation. His happiness turning to fear and confusion. The way he is shaking his head and trying to cut the cake. It’s really breaking my heart.

45

u/NitroThunderBird May 04 '21

:(((

Some people are fucking awful.

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u/Parabellum07 May 04 '21

Hey guys I have a great idea! On this kids one special day let’s make it absolutely hell by publicly humiliating him. Sounds great

26

u/kespersky_sucks May 04 '21

And let’s get it on video and laugh at him! Sounds like all kinds of fun!

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u/50larity May 04 '21

That’s gonna scar him.

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u/Afa1234 May 04 '21

It’s scarring me and I’m just watching it

416

u/Muffles7 May 04 '21

I feel bad enough when giving my daughter a bath and water runs down the front of her head and down her face. She makes a sound because she doesn't like it and I'm assuming she's freaking out because she feels like she can't breathe for a split second.

I couldn't fucking imagine doing that with thick egg yolk.

354

u/star_witness1 May 04 '21

On your birthday.

On camera

While your family laughs

I know that this is supposedly tradition, but this is so over the top for a kid that age.

Rough.

79

u/remberzz May 04 '21

Tradition where?!?

81

u/Afa1234 May 04 '21

Insane asylums

55

u/Rubbalong May 04 '21

Latin America

28

u/rigg197 May 04 '21

not fucking once have my relatives done this to me. regardless, it doesnt take that much willpower *not* to ruin an 8 year old kid's birthday party for your own enjoyment.

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u/Cebby89 May 04 '21

This video filled me with a rage I haven’t felt in years. Fuck all these asshole. I just want to hold that child and never let him go.

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u/Fleibat May 04 '21

Poor child

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u/Froggy_Style23 May 04 '21

Those other people are assholes

54

u/Iamyeetlord May 04 '21

Worst thing is that the parents probably knew about this and didn't stop it.

17

u/OhioanCross May 04 '21

Parents probably did it

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u/thunderdrae May 04 '21

Way to go, you traumatized a child.

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u/local_bother93 I enjoy hating others May 04 '21

I would have 1000% have cried as a kid if this was done to me. And they destroyed his entire cake. Looks like he didn't even get a piece of his own birthday cake. Poor kid.

344

u/gguerra_ m'ladies May 04 '21

Ngl, I would even cry now if they did this to me

148

u/WhatEver405 May 04 '21

I almost cried watching this

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u/DynamisFate May 04 '21

Why cry? You’ve got a knife in your hand

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u/Annie_is_bored nothing amuses me May 04 '21

Just stabie stab your enemies

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u/WarmCorgi May 04 '21

i would never have a birthday party again honestly, just celebrate it on my own

19

u/sorrynotsorrysorryno May 04 '21

yeah honestly and every year on my birthday i’d flip my parents off and spend it alone in my room locked

185

u/MrGulo-gulo May 04 '21

Most kids would cry in this situation. He looks like he's about 6, no kid that age should go through this.

78

u/brynion1 May 04 '21

i would cry too because the cake is ruined and i am covered in egg

53

u/yaakovb39 May 04 '21

Not ashamed to say I would most likely cry if someone did this to me now. They were extremely mean and it definitely hurts to be in that situation

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u/Drunk_Robo_Pirate May 04 '21

I would have cried now

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u/Y0urWeirdNeighb0r May 04 '21

I would’ve scream cried for hours if this had been done to me

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u/a_n1kEt7 May 04 '21

This is not cringe this is straight up abuse what horrible parents allow this to happen to their kid

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u/Player_Number3 May 04 '21

Horrible fucking people, not only is this a really fucking cruel and disgusting way to treat someone, its a fucking kid! He will likely not fully understand that its "supposed to be a joke" and birthdays mean a lot to kids as well. These people should be ashamed, fucking inconsiderate degenerates...

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u/[deleted] May 04 '21

His head shaking is him trying to tell them no. What the fuck. I don't give a shit if this is some kind of custom. These people can go fuck themselves. He looks so broke hearted.

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u/thedarkbat0214 May 04 '21

I interpreted him shaking his head as a natural reaction to try and avoid getting anything in his eyes. Either way seeing his head shaking like that makes me feel so bad for him as he’s clearly in distress.

38

u/purple-pizza-eater May 04 '21

That and egg in his eyes. This poor little guy. I gotta go hug my son after seeing this

16

u/lethrahn May 04 '21

“It’s tradition!” Your tradition sucks shit.

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u/RDS327 May 04 '21

Ok this made me physically cringe and squint my eyes ... like what???

Dumbest thing I’ve seen in a while

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u/Bigbweb22 May 04 '21

That seems kinda traumatic. Idk maybe I'm just a pussy, but that would have fucked me up

13

u/guitargod784 May 05 '21

That would fuck anybody up

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u/yashirosdaikonlegs May 04 '21

Thats just bullying—

385

u/amnyc May 04 '21

If you engage in this behavior, you’re a fucktard.

29

u/DeltaPositionReady May 04 '21

I was expecting to see someone hit the kid over the head with a 2x4 to be honest. It seemed like one of these

Or this

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u/FryingPanZ I'm pretty epic May 04 '21

"bUT ItS TrADITioN"

- someone

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u/lekdneee May 04 '21

this mf better be a villain because he's already got a perfect origin story

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u/altaccount01X May 04 '21

Thats literally abuse tho

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u/[deleted] May 04 '21 edited Jun 17 '21

[deleted]

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u/vovsuchinternet May 04 '21

What happened there? Seems to be closed

58

u/awhaling May 04 '21

Says the mods set it to private

41

u/PM-ME-SEXY-SIDEBURNS May 04 '21

It’s been quarantined

45

u/Sceptix May 04 '21

r/CasualChildAbuse has been quarantined? Gee I wonder why.

64

u/ONOMATOPOElA May 04 '21

If there is one thing Reddit moderators love it’s kids.

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u/kara_of_loathing May 04 '21

The sub says to check your profile but I don't see anything.

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u/Comfy_floofs May 04 '21

Yeah this happened in my family birthdays all the time but not to this extent, couple eggs, whipped cream pie to the face, cake smear, i honestly have no idea why they do that tbh

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u/Ty6255 May 04 '21

It's common in Latin America to dip the bday person's face in the small cake and then bring out another but holy shit this is way way overboard. I have never seen anyone go this far when it comes to the cake smash. Poor kid got pelted with eggs!

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u/MrFilthyNeckbeard May 04 '21

I wonder how many kids in these fucked up families just dread their birthdays.

I already hated my birthday as a kid because I was really shy and didn’t like the attention. If I got smashed with cakes and eggs and shit dumped on my head I would cry.

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u/Jojo1206515 May 04 '21

How much must they hate that child to emotionally scar him like this?

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u/iiQayRay May 04 '21

My parents regret having me and they are sacks of shit but never went this far. Not my annoying siblings or any of the too many bullies ive dealt / deal with

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u/Underrated_Rat May 04 '21

I’d never want a birthday again. I mean things like that are funny until you take it too far, I can see why they would take it as a joke but he’s still really young.

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u/wesleysnoopies May 04 '21

This may come as a surprise to many of you but this video brings back so many similar memories of my family. Hispanic families which are directly from their homeland treat everything as a contest & punching anything up/down whenever they have a chance. Nothing is good enough. This is how they grew up. They were extremely mentally abused by their elders. They don't see this as an issue but to me it was. I was born in the USA. The first child in a family of 3 uncles and 1 aunt. I was made fun of as a baby (I've seen the videos), and allegedly was pushed down the stairs at 3 years old by an uncle. When my cousins were born they had it even worse. I was laughed at constantly for being a kid & imaginative. Mocked till this day (I'm 30+ now). I was overweight and called names continuously throughout years 10-15. My actual name wasn't used. This made me divide myself from my family. Those are the things that I can just think of off-hand... there is so much more.

They still ask "Why don't you come to visit?"

34

u/kejartho May 04 '21

Assholes. Abusive family deserves no place in our lives. Kindness goes a long way and family thinks that often because they were abused they get to abuse others and laugh about it. Truth is that we should grow from this tribalistic crap and realize that just because something was done a certain way, doesn't mean we have to continue doing it.

Sorry you went through that, I hope you're doing better now.

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u/zipperman213 May 04 '21

Dude did u see his face he was so sad 😥

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u/lil_chungy May 04 '21

What was suppose to be a special day, turned to a family abuse.

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u/Iamyeetlord May 04 '21

Imagine laughing and feeling good after you did this. This would never let me sleep at night.

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u/Soho_Jin May 04 '21

"BuT iTs TrAdItIoN"

  • People who have a really shit tradition that shouldn't be respected.
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u/justcatt May 04 '21

That's straight up bullying

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u/PieShape_ May 04 '21

I would've just cried if some people did this to me

72

u/sus_asf I bring nothing to the table May 04 '21

Abuse. It's abuse

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u/777ToasterBath I bring nothing to the table May 04 '21

this is a tradition in south america, most of the time its just taking a bite out of the cake or whatever the birthday boy/girl wants to do tbh, but some people thinks its funny to just go to this level and its awful ("._.)

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u/koscheiskowska May 04 '21

How to traumatize your child: threat him/her like one of your stupid friends

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u/Jumpmo May 04 '21

most of these posts just make me so so saaad

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u/idkwhatiamdoinrn May 04 '21

Dude i feel so bad for this kid why did they need to do that

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u/Heavy-Pride4223 May 04 '21

Buggers didn't even let him cut the cake...

15

u/creeperkrazzy May 04 '21

if it's his family, i think he would be glad to get adopted.

16

u/derwanderer3 May 04 '21

This makes me want to cry. A kid this age has no concept of the “humor” behind this and quite frankly even at 38 I fail to see the humor.

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u/JusTtheWorst2er1 May 04 '21

Child abuse is all I’m seeing here..

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u/burnt_out_of_people May 04 '21

Happy child abuse to you. Happy child abuse to you. Happy child abuse to the egg kid.

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u/lecosze May 04 '21

and we blame suicide for killing people, because "Noone saw that coming", tnx for traumatizing that kid

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u/dragonNINJAdx May 04 '21

Those assholes should not be surprised if when that kid grows up he never speaks to them ever again and celebrates his birthdays somewhere else.

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u/DeltaVortex509 May 04 '21

hAHa iTs JUsT a PrANk bRo

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u/Dr_Schitt May 04 '21

Fucking hell, how to make your child hate you with these easy steps..

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u/joebaby1975 May 04 '21

Grooming him to be abused and angry for the rest of his life.

10

u/CorporalAnxiety May 04 '21

Howtobasic birthday footage leaked

10

u/Pizza_Smuggler May 04 '21

I know some people from Honduras. Some of the stories they've told me about birthday "pranks" are downright disgusting and scarring. Like, one dude had a friend who got all dressed up for his birthday, was going out with his buds for a good time and all that. He didn't know that they had all pissed and shat in a bucket before meeting up to dump it on him. When I told the dude that that was disgusting and messed up, he looked confused and was like, "It was a joke".

9

u/GingieB May 04 '21

That should actually be given to social services. That poor child. If they are willing to film this and think its funny just imagine what they do to him off camera.

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u/Mylifeis-hell May 04 '21

Welcome to latam, child abuse and animal abuse everywhere, they love taking advantage of the innocent

Hope that child doesn't grow up to be like his family and nopes the fuck out of this shitty continent

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u/[deleted] May 04 '21

Childhood trauma in 3. 2. 1.

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u/Cleverbird May 04 '21

This is just sad as fuck :(

23

u/tabanthawheat May 04 '21

NOOOOOOO

  1. he's gonna cry
  2. unsanitary
  3. MONEY DOESN'T GROW ON TREES

26

u/YaoiDevotee I bring nothing to the table May 04 '21 edited May 04 '21

At my school on your birthday people egg you and throw flour on you, but it's usually only close friends and everyone is like 15/16.

This poor kid didn't even know what was happening and his whole family just do that. That sucks.

Edit: spelt flour as flower

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u/3-Technique May 04 '21

The villain's backstory:

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